After an injury-riddled season to date, the premiership-winning coach will be itching to bring his star back onto the field to reinforce the team ahead of the finals, following just their third back-to-back loss in five years.

More importantly, Ivan's also a father who must want to see his boy back doing what he loves.

Father and son relationships

Why has this family-first approach to Ivan and Nathan's relationship as coach and player yielded so much success for Penrith?

If "love is blind" as the saying goes, isn't sport surely the last place a father-son relationship should dictate proceedings?

I only need to think back to my soccer team from under-10's to 14.

On one sideline stood most of the dads, including mine, bellowing orders at their sons.

Each shouting dad wanted his son to look good. Love, in this instance, really was blind.

On the other sideline stood our coach, giving actual team orders.

As annoyed as we were with our fathers' selfish desires, no one felt the heat more than the coach's son.

He became the best player in our team, born from a genuine desire to prove himself to his coach and to his father.

Perhaps the Cleary mentality has been the same at Penrith all these years.

Like my coach all those years ago, Ivan's left behind the stereotypical fatherly ego and developed Nathan not only as player, but as son.

The Panthers can reap the rewards on the field, with two Clive Churchill medals, two Dally M halfback of the year awards and three consecutive premierships to Nathan and the club's name.

But off the field Ivan has learnt more than he ever could hope in a trophy—he's learnt to be a dad proud of his boy.

What then is to be done when things go south?

The same love and desire for his son's success nearly drove Ivan to leave the club at the end of 2019, telling The Sydney Morning Herald last year he blamed himself for Nathan's poor performances.

"I felt very burdened by the father-son thing. Nathan wasn't playing well, and I felt guilty for that. I felt like a burden on him. Then I was wondering ‘maybe I'm not the right man for this job.'"

Family first

It's clear that Ivan understands the hierarchy of his vocations—dad first, coach second. He's willing to let go of his own aspirations and sacrifice for his family.

Perhaps it's why the Clearys have been so successful at Penrith. Not because they've treated their relationship like a business, like everyone expected it ought to have been, but have instead put family ahead of all things.

Of course, if things go sideways accusations of nepotism are never far away.

Poor Jakob Arthur - then-coach Brad Arthur's son who was virtually driven out of Parramatta last year from fan abuse - knows the feeling all too well.

Fans forget that, in most cases, the son must work twice as hard as everyone else to prove their worth to both the world and their dad.

So while players often describe other teammates "like family," perhaps actual family can help a player make the most of himself.

That's certainly what the Penrith duo can attest to. Nothing can replace a boy playing to make his father proud and a father in admiration of his son

Any success the Panthers may gain from that—and success they've certainly already had—is surely just a bonus come October.

• First published by The Catholic Weekly

• George Al-Akiki is a junior multimedia journalist at The Catholic Weekly.

Asked by the Northern Advocate if they knew the gender of their triplets, the couple said they did not want to know.

The identical triplets' gender remained a surprise until they were born.

"We just really wanted to focus on them being healthy. We feel that God has chosen these three babies for our family to love and care for" Anna said.

"We couldn't manage this journey without the incredible support from our family, friends, church and the Northland Multiples [multiple births group]. We are profoundly grateful to them and God for His many blessings" Jeremy said.

The Pyles are also grateful to Whangarei hospital, where the triplets were born by caesarean section on 29 July and where they were cared for until they were ready to come home.

The identical girls - Sophia, Adeline and Gabriella - will join Eliane aged 6, James 4, Georgia 3 and Olivia coming up 2.

Home expansion

The couple said they will have to expand their home to accommodate Sophia, Adeline and Gabriella and are looking forward to lots of family laughter and perhaps an occasional sibling disagreement.

As well as their house being their home, it will also be their school.

Anna and Jeremy told the Northern Advocate that while they have plenty of support from family to ensure a whole village would help raise the children, to avoid the constant expense of school uniforms for seven the children would be homeschooled.

Natural conception

US baby and pregnancy site The Bump says while the probability of conceiving triplets naturally is around one in every 10,000 pregnancies, the odds of those triplets being identical is at least one-in-a-million.

The Pyle's are convinced theirs are "little miracles".

Source

• NZ Herald

At a Mass celebrated Sunday in Budapest, His Holiness called on the Hungarian government — led by Prime Minister Viktor Orbán and President Katalin Novák, both Christian, neither Catholic — to loosen its stringent border control policies.

Over 50,000 people were present at the Mass, including Orbán and Novák.

The pope said, "We Christians, all of us called by name by the Good Shepherd, are summoned to receive and spread his love, to make his fold inclusive and never to exclude others."

He called on Hungary to "open the doors" to immigrants and refugees, noting "how sad and painful it is to see closed doors." Francis has long advocated for immigration policies bordering (no pun intended) on open borders.

The pontiff's comments were likely not appreciated by Orbán.

Under the leadership of his Fidesz party, Hungary has developed and enforced strict border-control policies, often garnering criticism from more left-leaning European heads of state.

A report released last month, however, revealed that Hungary's immigration policies were actually responsible for a more than 20 percent drop in illegal immigration into Europe as a whole.

Despite leftist criticisms, other European nations are following Hungary's lead, like Italy, under the leadership of conservative Catholic Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni, and even France, helmed by leftist darling Emmanuel Macron, once a vocal critic of Orbán's border policies.

Orbán has been one of the driving forces behind protecting his homeland's borders. In 2021, he explained that his border-control policies are a defense of Hungarian national identity, which he clearly holds dear:

If we invite others from outside Europe that will change the cultural identity of Europe…. There are some countries that accept it but Hungary is not among those countries. We would not like to change the cultural identity of our country so we don't accept migration as a solution to demographic politics or demographic challenges.

He loudly encourages all Hungarians to hold their national heritage dear, too.

For example, Orbán earlier this year said that his country's national anthem highlights Hungarians' "greatest struggles — sometimes peaceful, sometimes warlike — [which] have always been fought so that we can remain who we are, so that we can live as we want to live."

If the prime minister's policies are any indication, he also considers the family core to who Hungarians are and how they want to live.

Orbán and Fidesz have worked hard to encourage Hungarians to grow their families, including by exempting mothers under 30 from paying income tax and introducing various government subsidies and tax breaks to support larger families. Continue reading

Farrell mentioned the in-progress document in a speech delivered in Italian on April 22 that opened a meeting of the dicastery, which promotes the pastoral care of the family and the mission of the lay faithful. Farrell spoke about the importance of providing help and guidance to "those experiencing marital crises of all kinds."

"On this front, the dicastery is also working on the preparation of a text that will specifically concern — as you wished, Your Holiness — men and women who, having a failed marriage behind them, live in new unions," Farrell said in his opening address.

Read More

Cardinal Kevin Farrell, head of the Vatican's Dicastery for Laity, Family, and Life, spoke of "co-responsibility" between clergy and laity, saying, "It does not mean that the laity in the church have to become clerics, and clerics in the church have to become laity."

Farrell's comments came before a Vatican conference on collaboration between laypeople and clergy. The conference is titled "Pastors and lay faithful called to walk together," and will take place in the Vatican's New Synod Hall.

Farrell appeared to brush off the idea of women clergy: "The Holy Spirit gives us all a calling, and all our different gifts," he said. "To some, he gives the gift of ordained priesthood, and to others, he gives many other gifts.

"There are many apostolates that priests are not qualified to undertake that the laity are," he said, and cautioned against "reducing the work among the laity and the great gift that laity bring to the church, to just some ministerial role within the church."

Linda Ghisoni, an Italian laywoman and undersecretary of the dicastery's section for laity, cautioned against trying to stake "a claim" on certain roles or functions in the church. She said that the real discussion should focus on understanding "the nature of our vocation, our baptismal identity, which opens to us immense paths" within the church.

The conference is expected to draw delegates from all over the world, who will discuss the "co-responsibility of laypeople in the synodal church," as well as the formation of laypeople.

Farrell said that the aim is to make both pastors and laypeople aware of the sense of responsibility that comes from baptism and that "unites us all".

The cardinal stressed that as pastors, "we do not reduce [the] role of laity in the church to a mere functional position or involvement, but rather they are truly part of the mission of the church".

"Laity have a lot more to offer than a mere function they can perform, such as being the accountant of the diocese," he said, saying there is still a need to arrive at "a much deeper meaning of what it means to be co-responsible in the church".

To do this, he said, "implies a change of heart, a change of attitude".

Sources

Crux Now

CathNews New Zealand

Lacroix was speaking at a press conference previewing a three-day Vatican meeting on how to improve collaboration among laypeople, priests and bishops.

Lacroix wants priests to recognise that laypeople are not there at their service.

"We are there together at the service of the Church," he said.

Lacroix said priests should invite laypeople into parish activities and programmes, but they should also ask how they can support parishioners where they already are.

He said that people's ordinary everyday lives is the stuff of holiness, and he wants priests to support them in their lives.

"What is our role as priests and bishops in this beautiful adventure?" he asked.

"Well, our main role is to be pastors. We're not managers; we're not the boss: We're pastors, shepherds."

Lacroix stated that the Church needs "better formation, better awareness and a lot of work" to bring his vision to fruition.

He recalled a time before he was a cleric when he gave this advice to pastors: "Resist inviting us to come into your things. Recognise that some of us are in school, some of us are in our profession, and we need to be good disciples there."

The event is titled "Pastors and Lay Faithful Called to Walk Together," and is organised by the Vatican's Dicastery for Laity, Family and Life, headed by Cardinal Kevin Farrell.

"The laity have a lot more to offer than a mere function they can perform."

"It is very important that we do not reduce the role of the laity in the Church to a mere functional participation or a mere functional involvement".

"The laity are not just to take up the collection at the Sunday Mass. They are to do much more", said Farrell.

He explained that the laity's responsibility to the Church demands "a change of heart, a change of attitude".

Farrell stated that "we must go to a much deeper understanding of what it means to be co-responsible for the life of the Church." This understanding requires "a lot of work".

Farrell emphasised that "as baptised Catholics, we are all responsible for the Church".

When Christ said, "Go baptise in the name of the Lord. Go preach the word of God to the ends of the earth", he was speaking to everybody, not just priests.

Sources

Catholic News Agency

The Dialog

Those who avail themselves of the liturgies that celebrate and solemnise these key moments of our Christian existence are often called cradle-to-grave Catholics.

And if you believe the Vatican's statistical office, we are growing in number. Its latest figures claim that the global Catholic population increased by 16 million new members between 2019 and 2020.

But I'll let you in on a secret: the papal mathematicians are very good at addition, but they have an extremely hard time subtracting.

They only remove dead people, not those who have been baptised but no longer claim to be Catholic.

Of course, that's not the statisticians' fault, because it's nearly impossible to know the exact number of people who have opted out or have just quietly walked away — unless, of course, they've formally quit by signing a legal declaration, as is possible in places like Germany.

In any case, there is more than just anecdotal evidence to show that the numbers of baptisms, church weddings and even funeral Masses are on the decline in most parts of the world.

I'm especially interested in focusing on the decline in church funerals, given that November — which begins with the Feast of All Saints and is followed next day by the Feast of All Souls — has traditionally been a special month for us Catholics to remember our dead.

I'm thinking especially of what appears to be a growing number of life-long Catholic who are deprived of a proper church funeral after they've died.

One of the greatest regrets in my life is that I allowed that to happen to my paternal grandfather when he died back in early 2004.

"Honey, we don't want to have a funeral"

"Papa", as we called my grandfather, became a Catholic in 1940 when he married the daughter of a Hungarian (Catholic) couple that had immigrated to the United States.

Like many so-called "converts", he became a very "devout Catholic".

He and my grandmother, "Nanny", never missed Mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation.

They religiously said grace before every meal, which included a Hail Mary and the Lord's Prayer for extra measure!

I also discovered something else about Papa's devotional life when I shared a hotel room with him and Nanny during a 1994 visit to Budapest.

Each night before going to sleep, he would kneel at his bed and spend nearly a half-hour whispering prayers of petition for the very specific needs of family members and friends.

He would also give thanks for the blessings of the day and ask forgiveness for any offences he knowingly or unwittingly committed.

On a cold Sunday afternoon in late January, some ten years after that memorable visit to Hungary, I was in Switzerland, when I got a phone call from a relative to inform me that Papa had died that morning.

He had spent the last several weeks in hospital and then a nursing home infirmary following a bad fall.

He was 87 years old.

I immediately called Nanny to tell her I was "coming home" on the earliest flight the next day and would be there in time to help plan the funeral.

"Honey," she said, "We don't want to have a funeral."

Since she was a Mass-going Catholic, I was really stunned to hear this.

I said nothing more about it over the phone, thinking this was just her grief speaking.

My grandparents had been inseparable and they doted on each other throughout more than 63 years of marriage.

Obviously, Nanny was devastated at losing Papa.

Plus, my father, their only child, had died five years earlier. She felt alone and vulnerable.

Role reversal

When I finally got to her home a couple days later, I again brought up funeral arrangements.

But she repeated what she'd said on the phone: "We don't want to have a funeral."

And this is where I made the mistake that I regret to this day. I quietly just accepted her choice, failing to realize that Nanny was probably not in the right frame of mind to be able to make such a decision.

The fact that she was 83 was not the issue. She lived to nearly 99 and, until the last year or so of her life, was sharp as a tack.

No, the real reason was that Papa had always taken care of such arrangements as paying the bills, making the major purchases, and so forth.

She was not psychologically equipped or prepared to do so.

A number of other incidents occurred in the months afterwards that finally made me realise that our roles had been reversed.

Nanny, who had become like a mother to me after my dad's death in 1999, now needed someone to be something like a parent or a protective son for her.

That someone was me.

Nanny lived on for over 15 more years.

She died on Holy Thursday (April 18) in 2019, just three days after the blaze that almost destroyed Notre-Dame Cathedral in Paris.

Such details one does not forget.

This time I picked up my phone in Rome and immediately began making arrangements for a funeral that would include a Mass for Christian Burial.

A lasting legacy

We had the celebration at St Stephen's Church in Toledo (Ohio), which was the immigrant parish where she had been baptised in 1920.

There were only a few dozen people at the Mass.

Most of them were not Catholic.

The liturgy was carefully planned, and family members were assigned to place the pall on the casket, do the readings and present the offertory gifts.

The priest, a longtime friend of the family, gave a homily that highlighted aspects of Nanny's life and challenged us to think hard about the one lasting legacy - just one thing - that she gave to each of us.

Although most of my family is no longer Catholic, all seemed moved by the ritual.

When we do funerals right, they are powerful.

One of my nieces even told me she was interested in becoming a Catholic.

I'd like to think that her great-grandma's funeral helped in some way to confirm her desire to do so.

I scan the obituaries each day in the Toledo Blade and read of many people who grew up Catholic, went to the parish grade school and diocesan high school.

They were married in the Church. Some are even touted as being devout Catholics and active in their parishes when younger. But so often, they are never given a public funeral Mass, especially if they are elderly. I suspect that's because their heirs are no longer practicing.

Sadly, the faith is not being passed on.

So I will be giving thanks for Nanny and Papa during the month of November as we remember our beloved dead.

For I am grateful that, among the many ways they influenced my life, inspiring me to hold on to the Catholic faith is the most important gift and lasting legacy they left to me.

• Robert Mickens is LCI Editor in Chief.
• First published in La-Croix International. Republished with permission.

The problem is that church leaders haven't grasped the power of cultural trends in technology, education and economics that are fueling sharp declines in statistics linked to dating, marriage and fertility, said Brian Willoughby of the Brigham Young University School of Family Life.

"The key word is ‘tension,'" he said. Among the Latter-day Saints, these numbers are "not falling as fast" as in other groups, "but our young people are feeling tensions between the patterns they see all around them and what they hear from their parents and religious leaders.

"We are seeing the same changes — only moving slower. The average age of people getting married is rising. Fertility rates are declining. ... We can no longer assume that religious young people are some kind of different species."

It's urgent, he added, for congregations to "start making a more explicit case for marriage and family. Our young people know that marriage is important, but they don't know specific reasons for WHY it's important."

The result is what some researchers call the "marriage paradox." Young people continue to express a strong desire to "get married at some point," but they place an even higher priority on other "life goals," said Willoughby.

"Marriage becomes a transition in which they fear they will lose freedom or success. ... They hear everyone saying: ‘You go to these schools and get these degrees. You get job one that leads to job two. Don't let anything get in your way or get you off track.' With this kind of head-down approach, serious relationships can be a distraction on the path to success. ... The heart isn't as important."

Thus, marriage isn't disappearing, but the population of young adults choosing marriage is shrinking — especially among those with little or no commitment to religious life. In a study published in 2020, Willoughby cited several reasons this matters, noting that married millennials report:

• Relationships that are more "satisfying and stable" than those living "in other types of committed relationships."
• Significantly lower levels of depression, with better exercise and health trends.
• Better access to health care, insurance and retirement benefits.

In Latter-day Saint congregations, said Willoughby, young women and men are asked to serve in parallel leadership networks, working side by side, week after week. This offers opportunities to spot potential spouses with shared beliefs and goals.

But there is one big problem: "More single men tend to drop out of the faith. Often, the ratio of women to men is way too high when it comes to young adults who are serious about marriage."

Meanwhile, researchers are learning that more and more young men are struggling to master the kinds of basic life skills that make them attractive to women seeking marriage partners, said sociology professor W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia.

"I think quite a few women would be happy to meet a man at church and marry him," he said. "But they are still going to want to know: ‘Is this man taking care of himself? Is he gainfully employed? Can he take care of a family? Is he decisive about the issues that matter the most in life?'"

At the same time, many religious leaders need to understand that many of today's dangerous trends in mental and physical health are linked to the growing cloud of digital screens that dominate modern life, said Wilcox.

This is especially true with the social media programs that shape the lives of teenagers and young adults.

"Churches have to find ways to encourage men — single and married — to turn off the internet and their video games and get their acts together. ... And let's face it, it's harder to make major course corrections in life when you're in your 30s," he said.

"All of this will require churches to do a better job of encouraging marriage, sanctioning marriage and helping young people prepare for marriage. ... This has to go beyond the old games-and-pizza approach to youth work and what usually passes for ministries with single adults."

• Terry Mattingly leads GetReligion.org and lives in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. He is a senior fellow at the Overby Center at the University of Mississippi.
• First published by Religion Unplugged. Republished with permission.
• Part II of II. Part I was published in the previous edition of CathNews.

What if American women asked their live-in boyfriends to stop playing video games, leave their couches and run errands?

In the "Saturday Night Live" sketch "Old Enough! Longterm Boyfriends!" guest host Selena Gomez asked her helpless boyfriend of three years, played by cast member Mikey Day, to buy her eyeliner and two shallots.

This man-baby ends up in tears with a big bag of onions and "a blush palette for African American women." The frustrated girlfriend says she may need a mid-morning glass of wine.

There was wisdom in that comedy, for pastors willing to see it, said sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia.

"There's a whole class of young men who are not flourishing personally and professionally," he said, reached by telephone.

"The systems have broken down that help raise up attractive, successful men. Churches used to be one of those support systems.

"The future of the church runs through solid marriages and happy families. The churches that find ways to help men and women prepare for marriage and then encourage them to start families are the churches that will have a future."

The crisis is larger than lonely, underemployed and internet-addicted men. Rising numbers of young women are anxious, depressed and even choosing self-harm and suicide.

The coronavirus pandemic made things worse, but researchers were already seeing dangerous signs, noted San Diego State psychology professor Jean Twenge, in a recent Institute for Family Studies essay. She is the author of the book "iGen: Why Today's Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy — and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood — and What That Means for the Rest of Us."

"Something began to go wrong in the lives of teens about 10 years ago," she noted.

"At first, I had no idea why teen depression was increasing so much. … But then I noticed some big trends in teens' social lives: They were spending less time with their friends in person, and more time online.

"That tends not to be a good formula for mental health, especially for girls, and especially when that online time is spent on social media."

"Meanwhile, a Pew Research Center study found that most single U.S. adults, even before the coronavirus, were depressed about dating and building relationships.

"This past February, 70% of those surveyed said "their dating lives are not going well."

The survey summary noted, "A majority of single Americans overall are off the dating market — 56% say they are not currently looking for a relationship or casual dates, up slightly from 50% in 2019.

Among the 44% who are currently looking, 32% say they are looking only for a committed relationship, 16% are looking only for casual dates, and about half are open to either a relationship or dates."

It's logical to link these numbers with U.S. birth rates, which have been falling for more than a decade.

During the pandemic, the fertility rate experienced its largest single-year decline in 50 years, to 1.6 per woman, then rebounded slightly to 1.7 in 2021 — well below the population replacement rate of 2.1 children per woman.

These trends should be of special concern to clergy, since religious faith plays a pivotal role in deciding who gets married and who does not, according to Brian Willoughby of the Brigham Young University School of Family Life.

When researchers study "the raw number of marriages in the U.S., a clear and unique pattern emerges," he wrote for the Institute for Family Studies. "Despite steady population increases each year, the number of marriages has been decreasing over the last 20 years."

What does religious faith have to do with this?

"Recent findings confirm what I and others have been noting for several years," he added.

"Marriage is slowly becoming an institution mostly utilized by the religious, who continue to view marriage as a symbolic representation of lifelong commitment to one's partner. While non-religious couples certainly value commitment and still get married, more and more non-religious couples are opting for long-term cohabitation, while an increasing number of individuals in the U.S. and Europe are electing to remain single."

• Terry Mattingly leads GetReligion.org and lives in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. He is a senior fellow at the Overby Center at the University of Mississippi.
• First published by Religion Unplugged. Republished with permission.
• Part I of II. Part II will be published in the next edition of CathNews.

Quarantined in a one-bedroom apartment in New York, I would sometimes imagine my fire escape was a creaky porch in the woods somewhere as I sat outside in the early evenings, listening to my neighbours' cheer and bang pots for the essential workers carrying the city on their backs.

Life felt stuck: no way to plan, nowhere to go, nothing to build toward.

The calendar had been emptied of weddings and dinners and reunions; the comforting rhythms of weeks and seasons disappeared.

I found myself alternately plotting wild adventures and pining for a quiet, communal life.

A professor of mine used to call this kind of musing "Jesuit daydreaming," his description of the rich Ignatian tradition of spiritual discernment.

I should pay attention to daydreams, he said, because they can be more revealing than I might first assume.

In this case, I think he is right: My pandemic mind loop was tracing the problem I have come to see as one of the great dilemmas of modern life.

In my work as a religion journalist, I often offer a mental image to explain the importance of the beat to secular colleagues and readers.

While not everyone describes themselves as having faith or even feeling spiritual, everyone has those searching moments in the middle of the night, covers pulled up high as they are lying in bed wondering how to have a good life.

More often than not, people's descriptions of what a good life looks like depends on a single factor: the strength of the community around them.

As a reporter, it is my job to follow along as individuals and communities try to figure out who they want to be and how they want to live.

It is hard to be a man or woman for others in a culture that is dominated by us versus them.

Over the past eight months, however, the path toward a good life has become obscured for many Americans.

As I sat inside my apartment daydreaming about the future, dozens of people

• on my street were getting sick,
• were losing family members or navigating the anxiety of being immunocompromised during a public-health crisis,
• were among many Americans, especially in New York, have spent their last eight months mostly alone, and mostly at home, sometimes unable even to wave hello to loved ones from a distance.
• contributed to the unemployment rate in New York City, which this summer reached 20 percent; many beloved businesses will likely never come back after the shutdown.
• are impacted by the basic ingredients of a good life—decent health, the warmth of family and friends, economic stability—are now out of reach for far more people in our country than at the start of 2020.

But the pandemic has also revealed the extent to which a good life felt elusive for countless Americans far before any of us had heard of Covid-19.

This is not just a matter of money or resources.

In my reporting, I constantly find evidence that Americans feel isolated and unmoored from their communities, unsure of their place in the world.

I am thinking of a Black Southern Baptist-trained pastor who could not stomach taking his kids to church within his denomination anymore because of his fellow church members' reluctance to talk about racism.

A longtime staffer at a major American archdiocese who feels daily rage at the Catholic Church's inability to address the clergy sexual-abuse crisis.

A young woman fired from her job at a conservative Christian advocacy organization because she spoke out against President Trump. A Catholic professor who bitterly wishes the Democratic Party had room for his pro-life views.

These are all examples from the world of religion and politics, but they speak to a deep and expansive truth: In many parts of American life, people feel the institutions that were supposed to guide their lives have failed, and that there is no space for people like them.

The result is a widespread sense of mutual mistrust.

Last year, the Pew Research Center found that fewer than one in five Americans say they can trust the government.

Nearly two-thirds of Americans have a hard time telling the truth from lies when elected officials speak, and even more believe the government unnecessarily withholds important information from the public.

I have encountered plenty of mistrust in the course of reporting stories.

People believe they know my politics, suspect me of bias and assume I will be hostile to religion because of where I work.

Religious leaders may be the most distrusted group of all.

As one influential Catholic businessman in Boston told me a couple of years ago, following the sexual-abuse scandal, "I go to Mass about three or four days a week.

I'm not into Vatican politics. I'm not into Vatican museums. I'm not into people who wear red slippers and fancy robes.

I bought into this as a kid, because of the life of Christ. So I'm in. But I'm not drinking any Kool-Aid."

Nearly two-thirds of Americans have a hard time telling truth from lies when elected officials speak. Continue reading

Previous research highlights not only the sheer size of the Millennial generation, which now surpasses Baby Boomers as the largest, but also its racial and ethnic diversity and high rates of educational attainment.

This research also notes that Millennials have been slower than previous generations to establish their own households.

A new analysis of government data by Pew Research Center shows that Millennials are taking a different path in forming - or not forming - families. Millennials trail previous generations at the same age across three typical measures of family life: living in a family unit, marriage rates and birth rates.

Millennials lag furthest behind in the share living with a spouse and child. Only three-in-ten Millennials fell into this category in 2019, compared with 40% of Gen Xers, 46% of Boomers and 70% of Silents when they were the age Millennials are now.

At the same time, the share of Millennials who live with a spouse and no child is comparable to previous generations (13%), while the share living with a child but no spouse (12%) is the same as Gen X but higher than Boomers and Silents.

Among Millennials, there are significant differences in the share living in a family of their own by race, ethnicity and educational attainment.

Black Millennials are the least likely to live in a family - 46% do, compared with 57% of white and Hispanic Millennials and 54% of Asians.

Black Millennials are more likely than other groups to live with a child and no spouse (22%, compared with 16% of Hispanic, 9% of white and 4% of Asian Millennials).

Overall, Millennials with less than a high school diploma are more likely than those with more education to live in a family (63% compared with 55% each of high school graduates, those with some college education and college graduates).

Millennials with a bachelor's degree or more education are more likely than those with less education to live with a spouse and no child (18% compared with 11% of those with some college education, 10% of high school graduates, and 7% of those with less than a high school diploma).

College-educated Millennials are the least likely to live with a child and no spouse (4%), while those with less than a high school education are the most likely to fall into this category (21%).

A look at Millennials who aren't living with a family of their own reveals that most live in other family arrangements: 14% of Millennials live with their parents, and another 14% live with other family members. In both cases, these shares are higher than for other generations when they were in their 20s and 30s.

Previous research has shown that, even after the economy started to recover from the Great Recession, the share of Millennials living in their parents' homes continued to rise.

Millennial men are much more likely than Millennial women to live with their parents (18% of men compared with 10% of women).

Millennial men without a college degree are especially likely to fall into this category (21%, compared with 12% of Millennial men with a bachelor's or higher degree).

About one-in-ten Millennials (9%) live alone. This is similar to the share of Gen Xers and Boomers who did so at a comparable age but higher than the share of Silents. Some 7% of Millennials live in a household with non-family members.

A majority of Millennials are not currently married, marking a significant change from past generations. Only 44% of Millennials were married in 2019, compared with 53% of Gen Xers, 61% of Boomers and 81% of Silents at a comparable age.

What does marriage look like for Millennials who have tied the knot?

They are getting married later in life than previous generations. The median age at first marriage has edged up gradually in recent decades.

In 2019, the average man first got married at age 30, and the average woman was 28 when she first wed. This is three years later - for both men and women - than in 2003, four years later than in 1987 and seven years later than in 1968. Continue reading

• The analysis or comments in this article do not necessarily reflect the view of CathNews.

"The values that Americans say define the national character are changing, as younger generations rate patriotism, religion and having children as less important to them than did young people two decades ago," Wall Street Journal reporter Chad Day wrote about the results.

Cartretta Dada, a 62-year-old Birmingham, Ala., resident, rated patriotism, religion and having children as very important to her.

She said her views have been heavily influenced by the religious commitment of the generation before her and her own experience as a parent.

"Because I had three black sons, then I had to be really particular in how I raised them so that they could succeed in a society that sometimes does not consider them human," she said.

"It was important to me to give them the best that I could give them so that they can succeed in America."

Megan Clark, a 31-year-old from Austin, Texas, said her experience as a child living overseas due to her father's military career influenced her views on patriotism.

"Patriotism for the sake of patriotism means nothing to me,'' she said.

"If you believe in the values that your country is expressing and following and you want to support those, then, sure. But just as a blind association with wherever you happen to be from, that just doesn't seem logical."

The survey, conducted by Wall Street Journal/NBC News, began 21 years ago when Americans were asked which values were most important to them and the majority responded that "principles of hard work, patriotism, commitment to religion and the goal of having children" were critical.

"Today, hard work remains atop the list, but the shares of Americans listing the other three values have fallen substantially," Day wrote.

Patriotism being "very important" fell 9 percent, religion dropped 12 percent and having children fell a whopping 16 percent. Older participants still feel that patriotism is a priority, but younger people aren't as enthusiastic.

"Among people 55 and older, for example, nearly 80 percent said patriotism was very important, compared with 42 percent of those ages 18-38 — the millennial generation and older members of Gen-Z," Day noted before adding that the survey did find a few points of unity. Continue reading

• Image: The Stream

The report says:

• Traditional village councils and the church have been complicit in maintaining the veil of silence on the issue
• The church is generally failing in its role to prevent family violence
• The church is reinforcing the patriarchal framework which underpins family violence
• Church contributions are spiralling out of control through competitiveness, and a failure of churches to control amounts, leading to undue financial pressures, which in turn trigger a greater prevalence of domestic violence

The National Council of Churches' general secretary, Reverend Ma'auga Motu, says the criticisms were unjustified as church ministers play a big part in addressing issues relating to domestic violence.

"How insulting are the findings of this report, we have been working with the Ministry of Women to conduct consultations in the villages, through the church ministers."

"It is disheartening to read about the hard work of church ministers being degraded by this report."

The setting up of a Family Violence Prevention Office is the lead recommendation, out of 39, made in a report.

Recommendations directed at the churches include:

• Churches increasing their capacity to deal with domestic violence
• Preventing placement of victims in situations that risk further harm
• The need to consult and establish a national guideline for church ministers when dealing with victims and perpetrators of family violence
• Traditional village councils and churches providing backup for a government-led strategy

Source

• sobserver.ws
• radionz.co.nz
• Image: radionz.co.nz

"Everyone is different" and all married couples will go through periods of difficulty.

Fragility and brokenness are part of that.

Couples and families often need resources and support, Nichols said, although they should always be "on offer" and never forced.

In his address, Nichols offered a number of ways marriage preparation can help couples seeking marriage.

"On this journey one quality is very important. It is this: learning to sense how and where God is present," he said.

Couples need the Church to welcome them and to present a "clear vision" of the marriage sacrament.

The sacrament "is rooted in the love of God and is to be an expression of the faithfulness and fruitfulness of God's love and is "intertwined with the love Christ has for his Church."

It includes sacrifice, forgiveness, and healing.

"Our teaching is a rich vision that informs all that we want to share with those who are starting out on married life," he said.

Nichols said parishes can help engaged couples to embrace the Church's vision, even in the face of an increasingly secular view and focus on the wedding "industry."

Underpinning all marriage preparation should be a focus on God's call to holiness, he said.

As Pope Francis wrote in the exhortation Gaudete et exsultate, holiness can grow even through small, everyday actions - the building blocks of family life.

Nichols's advice for good marriage preparation includes expressions of solidarity with the couple, so they know they do not have to journey through engagement and married life alone.

"Those involved in leading marriage prep should also remember to be humble and to trust in God's grace, remembering that the Holy Spirit should be the first guide of the couple," Nichols said.

He urged priests to emphasise the importance of prayer, especially teaching couples to learn to pray together with scripture.

This will mean priests need to choose their words carefully, "so that the hearts of young people can be reached with the truth of marriage, also recognising that not all couples begin with the desire to go through the process of marriage preparation."

Encounters with older married couples can also be a good resource for couples engaged to be married.

Older couples may be able to help them consider their hopes and expectations for marriage, he said.

Among the topics to be included at marriage preparation discussions, Nichols suggested:

• The gift children are to parents and to the Church
• The importance of honest, thoughtful decisions on planning a family together
• The "gift of sexuality, the gift of the body"

Source

• The Tablet
• National Catholic Register
• Image: CathNews USA

So what went wrong?

The one common denominator - that Mr Little and his colleagues won't dare talk about - is the traditional family. Read more

The encyclical, written by Pope Paul VI and issued in July 1968, specifically deems artificial contraception as being "absolutely excluded" and "intrinsically wrong".

The British clergy have signed a statement endorsing the encyclical as its 50th anniversary nears.

They argue that Humanae Vitae was prophetic.

"[It] predicted that if artificial contraception became widespread and commonly accepted by society then we would lose our proper understanding of marriage, the family, the dignity of the child and of women, and even a proper appreciation of our bodies and the gift of male and female," they say.

The priests say many people rejected the encyclical's message and warnings when it was published, finding them "difficult to accept and challenging to proclaim.

"Fifty years later, so much has unfolded in our society that has been to the detriment of human life and love", so that "Many have come to appreciate again the wisdom of the Church's teaching," the priests say.

One of the priests commented: "We hope that the Church here will now recognise the importance of Humanae Vitae and place it at the forefront of our pastoral strategies and evangelisation. This marks an important moment for the Church in this country.

"It is hard to get 100 priests - the size of an average diocese - to do anything together but to get 500 is very significant indeed".

Source

• The Tablet
• Catholic Herald
• YouTube

According to data prepared by the Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR), from October 2017 to April 2018 more than 700 children were taken from adults claiming to be their parents.

This includes more than 100 children under the age of 4.

The ORR is a division of the Department of Health and Human Services that takes custody of children removed from migrant parents.

Brownsville is a Texas town on the Mexico-United State border. This is the town in which New Zealand priest Fr. Tony O'Connor works. He has recently contributed some opinion pieces to CathNewsNZ Asia and Pacific.

Brownsville has become the centre of media attention in recent weeks.

Beginning late April, the magistrates' courts there suddenly turned into "zero tolerance" factories for criminalising migrants.

It used to be rare to charge migrants seeking asylum with crimes. If they did so, they were put into detention with their children while they pursued their claims.

Or they were released with supervision — along with their children.

The best interests of the children were considered paramount, and those interests included keeping families together.

But now, not only are parents finding themselves charged in federal courts with the crime of "illegal entry," the government is breaking up families, sending children to detention centres or to foster homes.

The children can often end up hundreds of kilometres away from their mothers and fathers.

One of the few places immigrants can gather peacefully and without danger is churches.

Many of those churches are Catholic.

Still, in some ways, the US bishops are stuck in the middle.

Many of their white parishioners voted for Trump and his anti-immigrant platform, while Pope Francis has stood for the opposite when it comes to immigration issues.

While they stand together, bishops retain their individuality.

They differ on strategies, approaches and how much of a priority they put on the issue of immigration.

Source

• theintercept.com
• Image: theintercept.com

After all, our parents are the most important people in our lives. We see them at close range more than we see anybody else.

They are the people who made us, who care for us most, who act as primary role models for us, who spend most time with us, and who we want most to love us.

So it makes sense that if they treat each other well and show us - their children - love and safe boundaries, then the odds are that most of us will turn out fine.

If they fall short on any of these areas - they show contempt for one another, they fight or blank each other, they can't make their relationship work so they split up, or they can't show us the love and safe boundaries we need - then it makes sense that the odds start building up against us.

How we see the world is bound to be framed first and foremost by what we experience at home.

And yet the prevailing view in government circles is that whether the parents are married or not, or stay together or not, isn't important.

What's most important, apparently, is whether they fight.

Parental conflict is certainly unpleasant and well known to have unpleasant consequences for children.

Yet our previous research has shown that only 2 per cent of parents quarrel a lot and only 9 per cent of parents who divorce quarreled a lot before they split up.

These numbers alone suggest that parental conflict is an insufficient explanation for the prevalence of teenage problems. In any case, children are often better off out of a high conflict relationship. Continue reading

Sources

• MercatorNet article by Harry Benson, Research Director of the UK-based Marriage Foundation.
• Image: Daily Mail Australia

During the recent King's High School senior prizegiving, rector Dan Reddiex praised his present cohort of pupils for their outstanding achievements during the year but went on to express deep concern about the future of education in New Zealand. Continue reading. Continue reading

"Conscience," he said, "always has God's desire for the human person as its ultimate reference point.

"The contemporary world risks confusing the primacy of conscience, which is always to be respected, with the exclusive autonomy of the individual" even when the individual's decisions impact his or her marriage and family life, the pope said.

Repeating a remark he had made to the Pontifical Academy for Life, Pope Francis said, "There are those who even speak of 'egolatry,' that is, the true worship of the ego on whose altar everything, including the dearest affections, are sacrificed."

Confusing conscience with selfishness "is not harmless," the pope said. "This is a 'pollution' that corrodes souls and confounds minds and hearts, producing false illusions."

He said the Catholic Church must strengthen its programmes "to respond to the desire for family that emerges in the soul of the young generations" and to help couples once they are married.

"It is important that spouses, parents, not be left alone, but accompanied in their commitment to applying the Gospel to the concreteness of life.

"In the domestic reality, sometimes there are concrete knots to be addressed with prudent conscience on the part of each," he said.

Diagnosing problems in the church's outreach to married couples and families, Pope Francis had written, "We have long thought that simply by stressing doctrinal, bioethical and moral issues, without encouraging openness to grace, we were providing sufficient support to families, strengthening the marriage bond and giving meaning to marital life."

"We also find it hard to make room for the consciences of the faithful, who very often respond as best they can to the Gospel amid their limitations, and are capable of carrying out their own discernment in complex situations," he wrote in 'Amoris Laetitia.' "We have been called to form consciences, not to replace them."

The meeting, sponsored by the Italian bishops' conference, was focused on 'conscience and norm'.

Source

• National Catholic Reporter
• Image: mltestblog