There is a lot of hugging, wiping of eyes, laughter, memories shared. Friendships are renewed. Family connections are updated.

As one person said, "It takes a good funeral to bring life to a family".

I think most of us agreed; but a "good" funeral is not always the case. Every now and then we attend a funeral marked by division. These carry another kind of grief, the sort concerned with wounds that haven't healed.

This doesn't happen often, but when it does we are aware of family members sitting in different parts of the church, deaf and blind to each other.

If we could tap into their silence, we might find separation was caused by something that happened a long time ago. The original wound might have been quite small, but it has enlarged with lack of forgiveness.

One of the most difficult burdens to carry is lack of forgiveness.

We all have that problem. We don't forgive others and we don't forgive ourselves.

This darkness is very heavy, and it weighs us down. We know it is partly caused by our judgemental attitudes, but even that knowledge is a judgement and it doesn't help.

Lack of forgiveness can become a major blockage.

For me, the only thing that works is to lay that dark weight at the foot of the cross and hear Jesus, the great healer, say "Father forgive them. They know not what they do".

That is so true. Much of the grievance I've carried has come out of someone's ignorance, haste, a mistaken sense of duty, and the same can be said of the hurt I've inflicted on other people.

In fact, if we look at the evil in the world, we see it caused by people who believe they are absolutely right.

Experience teaches us that the fruits of suffering are wisdom and compassion. For some of us, the hurt we've received from others has caused major disruption in our lives and we don't know how to move on.

Forgiveness is not simple. We peel back the burden layer by layer. It takes time.

When at last we can go to the cross in prayer to completely forgive, we discover the freedom of forgiveness. The dark burden dissolves in the light.

What a relief that is!

Not only do we find freedom in that light. We also find wisdom and love and they, in turn, make very good lenses through which to see the world as God made it.

• Joy Cowley is a wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and retreat facilitator.

But just as we condemn the excesses of capitalism, so we should give credit to those who selflessly put their money to good use. They are opposite sides of the same coin.

In any case, philanthropy is not the preserve of the very rich.

On the contrary, research indicates that poorer people contribute proportionately more of their income to charity than the wealthy. And even those without money can be generous in other ways - for example, by giving their time as volunteers.

According to the 2013 World Giving Index, 40% of New Zealanders donate time to good

For ordinary New Zealanders, there have never been more ways to contribute.

Community foundations exploit economies of scale by pooling individual donations, which, on their own, might be too small to make a difference.

Websites such as Givealittle harness the power of crowdfunding.

And at the top of the philanthropic food chain, large trusts and foundations are establishing strategic partnerships and collaborating on large-scale, long-term projects, notably in education and conservation.

Underlying all this is a growing recognition that issues such as unemployment, pest control and social disadvantage are beyond the resources of the state on its own.

Philanthropy at its most effective can strike at root causes where the welfare state can often do little more than provide Band-Aids.

Rather than being seen as relieving the Government of its obligations, it should be viewed as an important adjunct to the state and an indispensable part of what we know as civil society. Continue reading.

This piece comes from the editorial of the current Listener.

Source: The Listener

Image: ADLS

The results of the World Giving Index survey - organised by the UK-based Charities Aid Foundation - reveal that New Zealanders are second only in giving to Americans, and tied at number two with Canada and Myanmar.

According to the index, 40 per cent of New Zealanders volunteered their time in the past year - up from 38 percent in 2012. Continue reading

The study involving a group of devout Catholics found that when they felt absolved of sins and a sense of guilt they were more likely to give generously.

Researchers from Royal Holloway College, London, and the University of Oxford assigned participants two memory tasks.

In the first they were asked to privately recall a sin they had committed in the past. In the second, they were asked to recall going to confession for this sin, or imagining doing so if they had not confessed it in reality.

Each participant was also given an opportunity to donate to a local Catholic church by placing some money in an envelope. For some participants, this donation was collected before they recalled being absolved of the sin, whereas for others the donation was collected afterward.

The results showed that recalling — or imagining — absolution strongly increased church donations, especially among the more devout participants.

The lead researcher, psychologist Dr Ryan McKay, said earlier research had shown that people are "more likely to behave pro-socially, such as helping, sharing, donating, co-operating and volunteering, when they feel guilty.

"This raises the question of whether religious rituals of absolution, in which people are absolved of their sins and released from guilt, would actually make people less pro-social.

"However, the results of our study suggest the opposite — that ‘releasing' people from their sin has a positive pro-social effect. This indicates that the Catholic ritual of confession is an effective means of promoting commitment to the Church."

Sources:

The Telegraph

HealthCanal

Image: The Guardian