International statistics confirm we're three times more likely than women to take our own lives. For guys under 45, it's the primary cause of death.

Though women are worse off in many ways in society, this is one issue that disproportionally affects men.

In New Zealand, it's arguably our "harden up" rugby-fuelled culture that forces guys to keep their feelings inside and not seek help when they're having suicidal thoughts.

Overseas, this mentality doesn't exist to the same extent (though there are exceptions, eg Australia).

However, suicide is still more common among men, all over the world.

What's going on?

Health professionals, politicians and media constantly talk of the unmet need in terms of this problem (and plans to alleviate the problem), yet the suicide stats don't go down.

Across Western society it seems all people - not just males - are only deserving of help when they're already way down the track.

Where are the preventative services? More importantly, why aren't those most vocal in society pushing to change the burdens that men are faced with?

In addition to talking about more funding for mental health care - more providers and better support for people to manage life's pressures - why aren't we also stepping back to figure out how we can relieve those pressures in the first place?

Male privilege extends to most facets of life. Men get paid more, they enjoy unearned advantages and in many parts of society they're given greater status.

It's also assumed that they aren't judged as harshly as women.

I disagree on that last point. While we're not fat-shamed, age-shamed, slut-shamedor mum-shamed, we are bloke-shamed.

Men are forced to self-censor in order to conform to an ideal that discourages outward expressions of sadness, struggle or weakness. Continue reading

• Lee Suckling is a columnist in the Fairfax suite of newspapers

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