Many factors contribute to this form of violence. Persistent gender inequality is a fundamental systemic cause, but researchers have identified additional risk factors. These include alcohol and drug use, past experience of family violence, financial stress and sexist attitudes.

One psychological factor that may be implicated in intimate partner violence is objectification.

Feminist thinkers such as Cambridge scholar Rae Langton and American philosopher Martha Nussbaum have proposed men who treat their partners as "object-like" are disposed to harm them because they fail to see them as fully human.

Objectification can involve men judging their partner's value in her physical appearance, seeing her as a possession, or denying her agency and autonomy. The common thread is a subtle or not-so-subtle form of dehumanisation.

Recent psychological research has tried to test these ideas, with intriguing results.

Our new research

Past research found young men who sexually objectify women are especially likely to perpetrate sexual violence. It also showed that men who unconsciously associate women with objects have a relatively high propensity for sexual harassment.

In our recently published work, we moved from considering violence towards women in general to violence towards men's intimate partners. You might expect men would be less likely to objectify those they claim to love. The appalling statistics on intimate partner violence suggest otherwise.

Our new article presents findings from three studies on the role of objectification in intimate partner violence. Each study sampled American men aged 18 to 35 who were in a committed romantic relationship of at least one year's duration.

In our first study, men completed a computer-based task - the Implicit Association Test - commonly used to measure unconscious bias. We adapted the task to assess how much they automatically associated women with inanimate objects or animals.

The group also responded to questionnaires measuring how often they engaged in a range of abusive and sexually coercive behaviours towards their current partners.

Although based on self-reporting, and therefore open to distortion, these measures are valid predictors of violent behaviour.

As expected, men with relatively strong tendencies to associate women with objects reported higher rates of violent and coercive behaviour. This effect did not occur because these men held more hostile sexist attitudes toward women.

Objectification and sexism were distinct predictors of intimate partner violence, suggesting that objectification independently contributes to this form of violence.

Voodoo dolls

Our second study extended the first in two ways. First, we adapted the association test to examine how much men automatically associated their partner with objects, rather than women in general.

Second, we added a more behavioural test of violence. The Voodoo Doll Task allows participants to use "pins" to stab a doll, presented on a computer screen, that shares their partner's name.

Each participant has an opportunity to use as many pins as he wishes after vividly imagining a provocative scenario. He is at a bar with his partner when she starts flirting with another man and expressing discontent with her current relationship.

Stabbing a virtual doll with digital pins is not the same as inflicting actual violence, of course. However, people who use more pins are more prone to real-world violence. Their inhibitions against acting violently are likely weaker.

In our study, men who tended to associate their partners with inanimate objects reported higher rates of violence, as in the first study. They also stabbed the voodoo doll with more pins if they were highly upset by the provocative scenario.

Our first two studies examined objectification as the tendency to associate a person with objects. Our third considered it as the tendency to focus on the person's physical appearance.

In our experiment, men were randomly assigned to write several sentences about their partner's appearance or about her personality. They then completed the Voodoo Doll Task and several short questionnaires.

As we predicted, young men induced to focus on their partner's appearance stabbed the doll with more pins.

They also rated their partner as having fewer personality traits associated with being emotional and capable of action (which contrasts the inertness of inanimate objects).

What this means in the real world

Our three studies indicate objectification plays a role in men's intimate partner violence against women. Men who implicitly see their female partners as object-like are at greater risk of acting violently towards them.

Inducing an appearance mindset may also promote intimate partner violence, suggesting objectification may be implicated in violence even among men who are otherwise not prone to it.

These findings offer a new perspective on intimate partner violence and how to prevent it.

Fundamentally, they imply this violence is partially rooted in a failure of empathy. Some men are unwilling or unable to appreciate their partners as complete humans.

Cultural changes that boost or encourage men's appreciation of women's experiences, and reduce their focus on their physical appearance, may help reduce the terrible toll of violence in heterosexual intimate relationships.

Further information and support

If you are a victim of family violence or in a relationship that makes you fearful about your own or anyone else's safety, seek help as soon as possible. You have the right to be safe.

• Elder Abuse Helpline | 0800 32 668 65 - 24 hours
• Family violence information line (link is external) | 0800 456 450
• Gandhi Nivas (link is external) - supporting men to be free from violence | 0800 426 344
• Hey Bro helpline (link is external) - supporting men to be free from violence | 0800 HeyBro (439 276)
• Hohou te rongo kahukura - outing violence (link is external) - building rainbow communities free from violence
• National network of stopping violence (link is external) | 03 391 0048
• Sensitive Claims ACC (link is external) | 0800 735 566
• Shakti - for migrant and refugee women | 0800 742 584 - 24 hours
• Shine National Helpline (link is external) | 0508 744 633 - 24 hours
• Victim Support (link is external) - support for men and women victims | 0800 842 846 - 24 hours
• Women's Refuge crisis (link is external) line | 0800 733 843 - 24 hours
• Rainbow Youth (link is external) - promoting healthy queer, trans and takatäpui relationships

• First published in The Conversation
• Adriana Vargas Saenz is Lead Researcher at Atlassian & Honorary Fellow, Melbourne School of Psychological Sciences, The University of Melbourne
• Nick Haslam is Professor of Psychology, The University of Melbourne

After hearing from hundreds of victim-survivors from all over the country about how the system has failed them when they sought protection and help, our birthday brings conflicting feelings of hope and heartache.

How can it be that in 2022 so many victim-survivors are forced to 'manage' ongoing family violence and abuse even after they take the brave step of escaping or telling?

In 2019, Backbone undertook a survey of 528 women who had experienced family or intimate partner violence.

The vast majority of these women had separated from the abuser, and many (57 per cent) had been separated for over six years but the violence and abuse continued.

This week RNZ ran a story detailing the experiences of Rachel* and her child. Sadly, their horrendous experience is a common one for many women and children in New Zealand.

After Rachel and her child experienced violence and abuse from her partner, the child's father, they did what we are all taught to do; they told the statutory organisations equipped to intervene and asked for help to get safe and recover.

However, the response from those organisations, the courts and their community further victimised Rachel and her child, isolated them from support and resources, placed the blame on them for what happened, accused them of lying about the violence and abuse and ultimately put them in more danger and prevented their recovery.

Thankfully many New Zealanders reading Rachel's story feel outraged.

Most of us sincerely believe that family and sexual violence is not OK.

We would expect that when it happens there should be a swift response that results in safety for the victims and accountability of the person who chooses to use violence and abuse.

What can we do?

So, what next? How can the general public and those in power ensure victim-survivors are able to access the right support at the right time, get safe and recover?

Victim-survivors have shared their requests with Backbone:

Firstly, victim-survivors want the general public, friends, family, whanau, work colleagues, neighbours and people providing services to understand more about sexual and family violence so people can provide effective and safe support whether that be emotional or practical.

Take an opportunity to learn more about the dynamics of family and sexual violence, including coercive control and grooming behaviours, and the impact of violence and abuse on victim-survivors.

Secondly, believe that violence and abuse do not stop when women separate from an abusive partner.

In our 2019 survey we found that when victim-survivors said violence and abuse had stopped, it was due to environmental changes that enabled her to have no contact rather than the abuser choosing to stop their abuse (she moved to another area, had a Protection Order, was in hiding, the abuser was in jail or had died).

However, for 47 per cent of survey participants, the violence and abuse had not stopped regardless of separation, and these women were often forced into contact with the abuser.

They described having no control over the abuser's behaviour, for example breaking into her home, emailing or texting constantly, bad-mouthing her to friends and family, making untrue allegations to Oranga Tamariki about her and using the Family Court as a new tool of abuse.

Thirdly, understand that people who choose to use violence and abuse use the current system to continue their abuse. Our system enables that behaviour.

Therefore, continually telling victim-survivors to just ask for help presumes that help is available and it works; it's often not available and the 'help' that is there can put people in far more danger.

And finally, victim-survivors want to see urgent reform of the current system and in particular the family and criminal courts.

Trying to get help has often left them further traumatised, fearful, unwell, broke, homeless, and disconnected from friends, family, whanau and their community.

Many of the women that Backbone hears from say that when they made the brave decision to leave or to tell someone about their experiences, they expected a giant safety net to extend under them and their children.

In reality though this never happened.

These women have described treatment toward them from the family and criminal courts, police, Oranga Tamariki, WINZ, immigration, 'helping' agencies and some in their communities and said it has felt like more abuse on top of what they already experienced.

Continually fighting for safety takes a very heavy toll financially and in terms of their health affecting their ability to work or cope at school, have a home, take part in social activities and feel connected.

The Family Court is one important part of our system that stands in front of safety for many women and children.

In 2018 and again in 2021 the United Nations CEDAW Committee was so concerned about the Family Court's response to women and children who had experienced family violence, it recommended a Royal Commission of Inquiry be held. Successive New Zealand governments have refused.

Victim-survivors tell Backbone that Family Court orders and proceedings force them into ongoing contact with an abusive ex-partner via unsafe parenting orders, orders preventing her and the children from relocating to another region where they might be safer and have access to better support, employment or housing, or forcing them into proceedings with the abuser lasting years and providing opportunities for ongoing abuse via the legal system.

It's hard to imagine why the Family Court would actively enable ongoing violence and abuse toward victim-survivors and children.

However, the culture of the court, the beliefs and myths that circulate among many professionals that work in it, often paint victim-survivors with harmful stereotypes - that they are lying about the abuse, are mentally unwell and are trying to get revenge on their ex-partner and poison their children against the other parent.

These beliefs frequently result in unsafe practices and decisions in both the criminal and the family court.

Family and sexual violence specialists have long called for a new approach in courts that better protects victim-survivors, including children.

Replacing the current adversarial model with one that is more investigative and specialist could make all the difference.

Rachel's story highlights numerous parts of the response system that currently fail victim-survivors and their children. And like Rachel hundreds of victim-survivors have called for a system response that is victim-survivor centred.

That means that decisions about policy, reform, programmes and services are informed by the needs of victim-survivors. Services and organisations are staffed by specialists who understand family and sexual violence, trauma and child development, they are accessible for people who live with a disability, they are culturally appropriate and are available when and where needed.

Most of all they are safe to use and result in safety and recovery.

• Deborah Mackenzie is a co-founder of The Backbone Collective and has worked in the domestic violence sector for many years.
• First published by RNZ. Republished with permission.
• *Name has been changed to protect the identity of the child involved.

Where to get help:

Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained counsellor, for any reason.

Women's Refuge: 0800 733 843

It's Not OK 0800 456 450

Shine: 0508 744 633

Victim Support: 0800 842 846

HELP Call 24/7 (Auckland): 09 623 1700, (Wellington): be 04 801 6655 - 0

The National Network of Family Violence Services NZ has information on specialist family violence agencies.

Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text HELP to 4357

Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.

Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7) or text 4202

Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (24/7)

Youthline: 0800 376 633 (24/7) or free text 234 (8am-12am), or email talk@youthline.co.nz

What's Up: online chat (3pm-10pm) or 0800 WHATSUP / 0800 9428 787 helpline (12pm-10pm weekdays, 3pm-11pm weekends)

Asian Family Services: 0800 862 342 Monday to Friday 9am to 8pm or text 832 Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm. Languages spoken: Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese, Hindi, Gujarati, Marathi and English.

Rural Support Trust Helpline: 0800 787 254

Healthline: 0800 611 116

Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155

OUTLine: 0800 688 5463 (6pm-9pm)

If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.