Ten years ago I was in the middle of a situation that an anti-domestic expert called “intimate partner terrorism” on Q&A this week.
My then husband was supposedly a Christian, a very pious, rather obsessive one. He was a great amateur preacher, very encouraging to his friends and evangelistically inclined.
He led Bible studies. He wanted to train for the ministry.
He just had one little problem. He liked psychologically torturing me. And dragging me by the hair around our apartment. And punching me – hard, whilst telling me how pathetic I was.
He gave me lists with highlighted sections of Bible passages about nagging wives and how I should submit to him. I was subjected to almost the full catalogue of abusive behaviour.
He was a classic wolf in sheep’s clothing. The Bible warns us repeatedly about people like that.
Since leaving this man, I have been shocked by the devastation that domestic abuse has caused women my age, in Sydney in general and in the Anglican Church in particular.
How talented, godly, intelligent women have ended up brainwashed, sometimes with severe depression and wanting to kill themselves. With some of them leaving the church.
Which is why I have been stunned at the reaction to Julia Baird’s recent article in the Sydney Morning Herald about domestic violence in the church.
A theologian, Claire Smith, and minister, Karl Faase, have both written articles in response indicating that this type of situation doesn’t happen in our church, or if it does, it’s not very often.
They also claim that ministers of the church do not teach or behave in a way that encourages such things. They have claimed there is no evidence, and many others have agreed with them.
Well, I disagree. Continue reading
- Isabella Young in The Sydney Morning Herald.
Isabella (not her real name) is currently writing a book detailing anonymised case studies of domestic abuse occurring within church families.