Mental health campaigner Mike King is offering mental health tips for parents and has questions for every one of us.
The former comedian offered his advice when he joined host Simon Bridges on Stuff’s Generally Famous podcast. He also spoke of his own battle with addiction, transition from stand-up, and cancel culture.
During the podcast, King, who aims to normalise conversations about mental health among young people through the I Am Hope foundation, posed the following question.
“What are we all doing to make it okay for… everybody to reach out and ask for help? We’re not doing enough.
“I need people to take off their masks of invincibility and start talking about what is going wrong with them. By being stoic, it’s having a devastating effect on our kids’ lives.”
Mental health tips for parents
The first piece of advice King, a former New Zealander of the Year for his mental health work, told Bridges:
- “Parents should allow children to see their vulnerabilities”.
He said children have told him they stopped speaking to their parents about their mental health because of the way the parents had responded.
As an example, he spoke of a boy talking to his father about problems with his girlfriend. His father’s response was:
“Don’t worry son, happens to everybody – let Dad tell you the story about what happened to him.
“So what you think you’re saying to your child is, ‘this is a universal-shared experience, we all go through it’.
“[But] what your son is hearing is, ‘so whenever I talk about me, you make it about you and how you got through it, so you’re Captain Perfect and I can’t talk to you about anything’”.
King’s second piece of advice for parents is to:
- “Stop telling their kids they just want them to be happy”.
He explained “Your kids are hearing, ‘I can only talk to you when I’m happy, because if I’m not happy, I’m disappointing you’”.
The mental health industry
King is scathing of what he calls the mental health “industry”.
There are three key components, he says, with academics and clinicians, the “happily married people”, telling the public (“the wayward child”) what to do rather than listening to them.
Source
Where to find help and support:
- Anxiety New Zealand 0800 ANXIETY (0800 269 4389)
- Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757
- Lifeline – 0800 543 354 or (09) 5222 999 within Auckland
- Mental Health Foundation 09 623 4812
- Need to Talk? – Call or text 1737
- Rural Support Trust 0800 787 254
- Samaritans – 0800 726 666
- Shakti Community Council – 0800 742 584
- Shine (domestic violence) – 0508 744 633
- Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
- thelowdown.co.nz Web chat, email chat or free text 5626
- What’s Up – 0800 WHATS UP (0800 942 8787)
- Women’s Refuge – 0800 733 843 (0800 REFUGE)
- Yellow Brick Road 0800 732 825
- Youthline – 0800 376 633, text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat