The shop's 50th anniversary this week was marked with volunteers old and new from Levin's Uniting Church getting together to celebrate and reflect on their achievements for pregnant women and their families.

In the beginning

Founding member Marie Vaney says volunteers who started the op shop came from the town's Catholic, Baptist, Presbyterian and Anglican churches.

"At the time Levin had a healthy religious climate so church members were approached to help set it up to offer an alternative for young families.

"We received training from Massey University to learn about non-judgemental telephone communications. We'd help with transport to and from appointments and on occasion we'd do a little bit of cleaning for them."

Vaney says that, when volunteers were helping young mums and their babies, others in the households they were living in often needed help too.

"There was so much people needed - like clothing, furniture and other items, so we decided that what we needed was an op shop - and two years later, in October 1974, it was formed."

She says the op shop was initially called the One Two Three Shop. Then other businesses started "popping up" with similar names, so the volunteers decided to change it to the Opportunity Shop.

Vaney, the op shop committee's first secretary, helped with the shop for almost 20 years until 1995 when she moved to Wellington with her family. After retiring nine years ago, she went back to Levin and is volunteering at the op shop again.

"It's the people that brought me back. It's a nice welcoming place where we help without judgement."

Treasurer Margaret Burnell is another long-standing volunteer - she started helping many years ago.

"I came here in 1991, was put in the treasurer role and here I am still. I think it's good to have something to get you out of the house and get on with it."

Yvonne Leyland, the shop manager for 12 years, says the anniversary celebration highlighted an important milestone.

"I think its incredible. In this day and age, there is a big need for more volunteers and I feel very blessed that we have, and have had, so many wonderful people helping us" she says.

• The New Zealand Herald

In fact, it's a relatively small percentage of families.

More damage is done to children by these families than by the state.

Regarding the killing of children - and there is one every five weeks in New Zealand - the vast majority occur in the home and the perpetrators are family members.

And when these murders occur, too often there are examples of the family protecting the offender from prosecution, leaving justice for our most vulnerable horribly wanting.

And, of course, for each of the young kids brutalised to death in the home, there are scores who survive the horror of their environments and subsequently go on to endure highly dysfunctional and criminal lives.

Indeed, one of the great tragedies of state care is that it was very often protecting children who had already endured an abusive start to life, but on too many occasions the state just heaped more misery upon them. The cruelty of that is unforgivable.

Understanding, though, the role of highly dysfunctional families is consequential.

If, for example, we were to fix all the problems with, say, Oranga Tamariki uplifts and they were made to be the highest functioning organisation possible, we would still be left with horrors occurring to children in family homes.

Yet if we were to fix families and rid them of abuse, we would have no need for Oranga Tamariki uplifts.

Given that, fixing the actions and activities of the state are tremendously important, but the saviour of the country's vulnerable children is more fundamentally situated in private homes.

Solve that and we solve the lot. Read more

Dr Jarrod Gilbert is the director of Independent Research Solutions and a sociologist at the University of Canterbury.

The Catholic Church cannot claim to safeguard marriage and family life if it simply repeats its traditional teaching without supporting, encouraging and caring for real families.

This is especially when families are struggling to live up to that teaching, Francis notes.

"It's not enough to repeat the value and importance of doctrine if we don't safeguard the beauty of the family and if we don't compassionately take care of its fragility and its wounds."

Francis made the comments on 19 March in a message to a Rome conference marking the fifth anniversary of "Amoris Laetitia," his 2016 exhortation of marriage and family life. Most participants took part in the conference online.

The conference was sponsored by the Dicastery for Laity, the Family and Life, the Diocese of Rome and the Pontifical John Paul II Theological Institute for the Sciences of Marriage and Family.

Celebrations of the "Amoris Laetitia Family Year," will conclude on 26 June next year at the World Meeting of Families in Rome.

Francis told conference participants that his exhortation was meant to give a starting point for a "journey encouraging a new pastoral approach to the family reality.

"The frankness of the Gospel proclamation and the tenderness of accompaniment," must go hand in hand in the church's pastoral approach, he explained.

Francis said the task of the church is to help couples and families understand "the authentic meaning of their union and their love" as a "sign and image of Trinitarian love and the alliance between Christ and his church."

At the same time, that message of the church "cannot be and must never be given from on high and from outside," Francis stressed.

The church's ministry to families can proclaim the truth and assist families only by "immersing itself in real life, knowing up close the daily trials of spouses and parents, their problems and sufferings, all the small and large situations that weigh them down and, sometimes, block their journey."

The Gospel is more than that, he stressed. It is a way to proclaim to the world the love of God and the beauty of his plan for humanity.

While many modern people believe the importance of the traditional family has diminished, Francis noted the pandemic has shown that for most people, the family is "the most solid reference point, the strongest support system and the irreplaceable basis for the defense of the whole human and social community."

"Therefore, let us support the family," he said.

"Let us defend it from that which would compromise its beauty. Let us draw near to this mystery of love with awe, with discretion and with tenderness."

Source

• Catholic News Service
• Image: Catholic Courier

Amoris Laetitia encourages both clergy and members of the laity to accompany and care for families and others in situations of particular need. Amoris Laetitia also includes an extended reflection on the meaning of love in the day-to-day reality of family life.

The National Centre for Religious studies (NCRS) has produced a group reflection and discussion resource based on teachings of Amoris Laetitia.

Blessed to be Family sets out a programme for individual parishes, or interested persons, to form groups and work through the material. This is the latest in a series of booklets produced by NCRS which are designed to encourage warm discussion around faith and community. Each week of the programme builds on the last and encourages open conversation, reflection and prayer within groups.

The booklets are designed to support personal and parish faith formation. Like the other booklets in this series ‘Blessed to be Family' provides an excellent opportunity for personal reflection and growth as a community. (While it would work with two or three, it is ideally suited to groups of between 5 and 8 people.)

Price: FREE until the first 500 copies donated by the National Centre for Religious Studies are used.

(Afterwards, $1 each + P&P for orders of 10 or less. Orders for 10 or more P&P included.)

Click here for Further information

Or contact: Colin MacLeod, Director Tel. 04 818 8386 Email. c.macleod@tci.ac.nz

Supplied

What's behind H&M's grand plan to turn every child under five into a rodent by new year, they're kids for God's sake, let them live.

And the news was that, in a world where childcare costs are unaffordable, and almost 2 million grandparents have given up jobs to look after grandchildren, the twist is that as well as being essential, valuable cogs in the kids' lives, these kindly pensioners are also killing them.

Killing them with their sedentary lifestyles, their passive smoke, their bottomless biscuit jar.

This study by the University of Glasgow was reported as though these people, with their yoga bodies - you know, grandparents really don't look like the illustrations in the books any more, these days they're younger than their daughters - had practically rigged their houses up like Macauley Culkin at Christmas, a series of terrible traps sure to result in obesity or death.

Not that my daughter's grandparents do this, of course. Not that they give her treats as reward for tasks as mundane as pulling up her tights properly.

Not that whole sections of their kitchens could be mistaken for small town sweet shops, with varieties of chocolate previously only seen in the hand luggage of web designers returning from Tokyo.

Not that she learned the lyrics to the entire film of Oliver! off the telly and how to unlock an iPhone while her dad was on a double shift, or that on holiday we realised she was calmly drinking pink wine at 18 months.

Not that my daughter's grandparents bought special espresso cups for her "babyccinos", or that she thinks pudding is a kind of post-dessert, the second in a menu of three, or that the base note of her smell is KitKat. Continue reading

• Eva Wiseman is commissioning editor on the Observer magazine.

Love Is Our Mission: The Family Fully Alive has been written and compiled by Patricia Alfonso-Sison.

It is based on the preparatory catechism of the same title from the 8th World Meeting of Families, an international gathering founded by St. John Paul II "to strengthen the sacred bonds of the family across the globe."

The book features reflections from a number of New Zealanders who are involved in ministry, especially to families including:

• Michelle Kaufman from Family Life International
• Pol Nerona from Couples for Christ
• Bro Kieran Fenn FMS
• Wayne Mulqueen from Focus on the Family

Love Is Our Mission: The Family Fully Alive is supplemented by videos of talks from the 8th World Meeting of Families that shed light on each of the ten topics featured in the book.

"I have been working on the book since August or September 2014 when the preparatory catechism of the 8th World Meeting of Families first came out," said Alfonso-Sison.

"Although it was meant to be a series of articles to be published in parish newsletters, God had other plans and it is now a book."

Ewen Laurenson, chairman and co-founder of the Open Home Foundation says the highlight of the book for him is the collaboration of family ministry organisations.

"This is what Centre for Marriage and Family is about: getting people to work and collaborate to promote marriage and the family since we believe that it is only by working together we can achieve our mission."

Love Is Our Mission: The Family fully Alive will be launched on Sunday, November 13, 2016 at the Churton Park Community Centre ,Wellington, 6:30 pm.

Copies of the book are available. Inquiries may be made by emailing centreformarriageandfamilynz@gmail.com

Read full press release

Source

• Supplied
• Image: Supplied.

Back in the day, boarding school parents didn't have much choice but to drop their kids off at the start of the term and hope for the best. An old boy of one Maori boarding school told me he has clear memories of a junior running down the long driveway in the dusty wake of his parents' car, begging not to be left behind.

Boy, they bred parents tough back then.

Nowadays, we're kept up to speed on the happenings at Hato Paora College thanks to a steady stream of social media updates, Facebook photos and Twitter feeds. It's just as well because, during those first few weeks, our boy sent precious few letters, and the ones that did make it home looked like they'd been written from a bomb shelter while under heavy fire. The first letter simply said: "I am alive." The second, barely legible in a red scrawl, requested more undies and munchies. Urgently.

People told us that by the time Gala Day came around at the end of that six weeks, we wouldn't recognise our boys. "They change so much," one mum said, all teary-eyed with nostalgia. I smiled politely, but didn't believe it for a second.

I was wrong, of course.

The first clue came in the third letter we received, just over four weeks in. It was three pages long — both sides of the paper. To put that in context, this is the kid who, before he left, could text with his eyes closed but couldn't hold a pen for longer than a minute without being struck down with cramp.

The second clue was that he used fractions to rate his subjects, listing them in order of preference, with maths topping the list. Yeah, I had to read that twice, too. When he signed the letter off, all he requested was more pens, "because I keep running out of ink." Continue reading

• Nadine Millar writes for E-Tangata, a Maori and Pasifika Sunday magazine.

MPs have voted 75 to 45 in favour of the bill, moving it to the Commerce Committee for consideration.

"We are disappointed that the vote in favour of sending the Shop Trading Hours Amendment Bill to Select Committee means the rights of vulnerable workers and their families to time off at Easter is under threat," said Cardinal John Dew on behalf of the Catholic Bishops of New Zealand.

"This is about ensuring that vulnerable workers can count on having time off for things that strengthen community and family life," Dew said.

"We are also deeply concerned that a dangerous precedent could be set in turning an issue that has always been a conscience vote, into a government Bill in which MPs are not free to vote according to their conscience."

"Conscience votes are an important protection for MPs and for society as a whole," Cardinal Dew said.

Dew said the NZ Catholic Bishops would be making a submission to the committee to oppose the bill.

Cardinal John Dew is the President of the New Zealand Catholic Bishops Conference.

Currently, laws stipulate most shops must close or restrict what they sell on Easter Sunday — for example, bars can only serve food (no alcohol).

The bill was put forward by Workplace Relations Minister Michael Woodhouse, who reasoned current laws were out of date.

"The historical Easter Sunday shop trading exemptions are out of date and create an unfair advantage for certain businesses and regions that can continue trading while others stay shut," he said.

"We know there is a demand from communities across the country to allow for shop trading on Easter Sunday, particularly from those districts who rely on tourism."

Good Friday, ANZAC Day and Christmas Day were not affected.

Woodhouse said the holiday is still significant for many Kiwis which is why workers will still be able to refuse to work on that day.

Source

• Supplied NZCBC
• stuff.co.nz
• Image: bradleystokejournal.co.uk

The initiative to help people who face having their utilities cut off was launched by Italy's bishops as part of the Jubilee tradition of forgiving debts.

"We are starting a project for the jubilee that sees mercy as debt relief," said Fr Paolo Gentili, director of the Italian bishops' conference's office for the pastoral care of the family.

Fr Gentili said his office was concerned about the growing number of Italian families who find it hard to make ends meet due to the economic crisis over the last few years.

He said daily expenses were a struggle, with families making every effort to pay the necessary bills to live, but still facing problems.

"The last bill becomes excruciating, a tear that turns into a river," Fr Gentili said.

He added that he was trying to get in touch with various companies that handle everyday utilities.

Fr Gentili said the Church has "always given, but is now called to give something even more concrete, to forgive debts, to give oxygen to the families".

He added that the initiative will start off with Rome, because of the Jubilee.

But the Italian bishops' conference will look at other large cities to see if the same scheme can be introduced elsewhere.

The Year of Mercy runs from December 8 to November 20, 2016.

Sources

• Catholic Herald
• Image: abcawesomepix.com

Archbishop Eamon Martin of Armagh said it would be a mistake for the synod to overlook the "shattering" effects of clerical sexual abuse on families.

In his synod intervention, Archbishop Martin urged his fellow bishops to "not forget families which have experienced the trauma of abuse and domestic violence".

He admitted that his "very deliberate intervention" had "undoubtedly been influenced" by the experience of the Church in Ireland

"We know only too well the horrific impact of sins and crimes of abuse in the Church family: the betrayal of trust, the violation of dignity, the shame - both public and private, the anger and alienation, the wound that never seems to heal," he told the Irish Catholic.

Noting that he also referenced domestic violence, Archbishop Martin said he felt that the synod's working document "had not sufficiently taken account of the awful impact and horrible reality" of such issues.

"I felt that the synod, being more conscious of these realities, may be more careful in its portrayal of what we like to call the ‘Good News' of the family," he said.

"We are very much aware that an awful lot of families go through immense pain, immense suffering, immense hurt and trauma and if we are able to hold that terrible sense of betrayal, shame, lost childhoods and lost lives that abuse domestic violence represents, then it may make our approach to families more pastoral, more compassionate and more understanding."

The archbishop did not support allowing bishops' conferences to develop their own policies regarding Communion for divorced and civilly remarried Catholics.

Sources

• Irish Catholic
• Image: Irish Times

Speculation is growing about a papal visit after it was announced that the next World Meeting of Families would be in Dublin in 2018.

Archbishop Martin said Francis is aware of the damage done to the Irish church by the sex abuse scandal.

The Pope is also aware of the changing nature of Irish society, the archbishop said.

"He is determined, I think, to see the next World Meeting of Families through and to be in Ireland, but it's too early to say that yet."

Continue reading

Archbishop Fisher's comments came after an address by Guinean Cardinal Robert Sarah at the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia on September 24.

Archbishop Fisher, who attended the address said: "Cardinal Sarah spoke on the family as a light in a dark world."

"Just as in the days of St Augustine and Athanasius, we rely on the African bishops to help us steer an orthodox course in confused times," the Sydney prelate said.

"[Cardinal Sarah] said we should not put the magisterium, the teachings of Christ and his Church, in a 'pretty box' as if they were irrelevant to pastoral practice and daily life.

"He said God's law for the human person and relationships does not 'confine' us: it opens up exciting new possibilities and ultimate happiness.

"This is not moralising, not finger-pointing, not being judgemental towards others, but authentic family life shines as light in today's darkness."

Cardinal Sarah cited Pope Benedict as saying the light of family life was being "snuffed out" due to modern culture.

"Even members of the Church can be tempted to soften Christ's teaching on marriage and the family," Cardinal Sarah said.

Separating what comes from the magisterium with pastoral practice, changing it in "accord with certain circumstances, is a form of heresy", the cardinal emphasised.

"Welcome the mercy of God," he told the audience. "This mercy has a name: Jesus Christ."

"This Spirit, the Holy Spirit charity — love until the end — can overcome all that seems humanly impossible within the family."

"All those wounded by personal sin and the sin of others — the divorced, the separated, those who have cohabitated, who get closed in on themselves and those in same-sex unions — can and must find in the Church a place for regeneration without any finger pointed at them," he stressed.

Sources

• Sydney archdiocese
• National Catholic Register
• Image: Allentown diocese

The New Zealand Conference of Bishops invited people to add their ‘voice' to the global discussion that began ahead of last year's Synod. The conversation continued this year with a further online questionnaire.

Bishop Charles Drennan of Palmerston North will represent the New Zealand Bishops at the Synod in October and spoke to Wel-Com.

To recap, what was Pope Francis' intention in calling the first session of the Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops in Rome last October?

Marriage and family life are at the heart of both the Church and civic society. All cultures and societies are experiencing circumstances and influences which are destabilising family life.

Pope Francis wishes us to reflect deeply on how we might strengthen marriage and family life and thus make a positive contribution to the world-wide human family.

We should not lose sight of the fact that this Synod follows the Synod on the New Evangelisation.

The fruits of the earlier Synod made us acutely aware that there is a significant percentage of Catholics who feel they no longer belong within the Church.

The current Synod's questionnaire responses confirmed that in many instances this is because their committed relationship or their family does not fit within the parameters or language the Church usually uses to describe family.

Put simply, many Catholics and their loved ones do not recognise themselves in the language we sometimes use to define or describe ourselves.

To use terminology we usually find elsewhere, we have a large community of ‘displaced persons', ‘refugees', who have found acceptance outside of the Church.

Do we repeat the tired language of ‘they walked away' or do we feel a stirring within to reimagine the ‘them' and ‘us' language? Continue reading

• Bishop Charles Drennan is the bishop of the Diocese of Palmerston North, New Zealand.

In a presentation at the so-called "shadow council" at Rome's Pontifical Gregorian University in May, Fr Alain Thomasset, SJ, described such labelling is one of the main problems in the pastoral care of families.

Understanding some acts as intrinsically evil, he said, "seems incomprehensible to many and seems pastorally counterproductive".

He wrote there is a just insistence "on points of reference as the targets of the moral life".

But this approach neglects the "biographical dimension of existence" and the "conditions of each personal journey".

He suggested that a "narrative and biographical perspective obliges one to believe that moral evaluation does not cover isolated acts".

Rather it covers "human acts included in a story".

Thus "one should not be too quick to qualify a sexual or contraceptive act as intrinsically evil!"

Fr Thomasset said that "the objective ethical references provided by the Church are just one item (essential, certainly, but not the only item) of moral discernment that must be operated within the personal conscience".

He called for increased listening to the experience and the sensus fidei of couples "who are seeking to best live out their call to holiness".

The priest, who is a professor of moral theology at Centre Sèvres-Facultés Jésuites de Paris, proposed an interpretation of human moral acts "remaining within the context of Catholic tradition, which would bear various consequences".

The first of these consequences, he said, is that "in certain cases, because of particular circumstances, the sexual acts of remarried couples would no longer be considered as morally guilty".

"This would open their access to the sacraments of Reconciliation and the Eucharist".

The other consequences, according to a Catholic News Agency article: the use of contraceptives would not be morally wrong, as long as the couple were married and "remain open" to welcoming life; and the "subjective moral responsibility" of sexual acts between homosexuals in a stable and faithful relationship would be "diminished or eliminated".

"It's about helping people live the humanly possible in a path of growth toward the desirable," Fr Thomasset wrote.

Sources

• Catholic News Agency
• Image: Our Greater Destiny

The Pope said this in his general audience at St Peter's Square on February 11, during which he continued a series of reflections on the various roles in the family.

A society that "views children above all as a worry, a burden, a risk, is a depressed society", Francis said.

Citing European countries where the fertility rate is especially low, the Pope said "they are depressed societies because they don't want children".

"They don't have children. The birth rate doesn't even reach one per cent.

"Why?" the pontiff asked. "Every one of us, think and respond."

He praised the 1968 encyclical of Pope Paul VI, Humanae Vitae, which reiterated the ban against artificial contraception while enjoining Catholics to practice "responsible parenthood" by spacing out births as necessary.

Francis added, however, that "to have more children cannot automatically become an irresponsible choice".

"Not to have children is a selfish choice," he said.

"Life rejuvenates and acquires energy when it multiplies: It is enriched, not impoverished!"

Last month, during an in-flight press conference on his way back from the Philippines, Francis also spoke about responsible parenthood.

"God gives you methods to be responsible," Francis said then.

"Some think that - excuse the word - that in order to be good Catholics we have to be like rabbits. No."

During his February 11 audience, the Pope recounted an occasion when he had asked his own mother which of he and his four siblings was her favourite.

Francis said that she compared her five children to her five fingers.

"All are my children, but all are different like the fingers on a hand," the Pope recalled his mother saying.

"It is like this, the family. The children are different, but all children."

The Pope also spoke of the difficulty many children face today, when he said it looks more difficult for many of them to "imagine their future".

Children, he said, "must not have fear of the need to construct a new world".

Sources

• National Catholic Reporter
• USA Today
• Image: Catholic News Service

However european mothers are far more likely to hope their children would grow up to respect cultural diversity.

This is one of the findings survey of about 7000 expectant parents of children born in Auckland and Waikato in 2009-10.

The $3 million-a-year Growing Up study has already reported on the children's health and wellbeing up to 2 years old.

The latest report, published in the Australian journal Family Matters, covers the last question asked in pre-birth interviews: "Please give us one or two sentences about the hopes, dreams and expectations you have for your baby."

Other facts that emerged include:

• Nearly half of the children identify with more than one ethnic group.
• Children up to two years of age are spending more and more time with digital media such as computers, laptops, CDs, iPods and MP3 players.
• Income drops for many families during and immediately after pregnancy, meaning there is no surplus money for things like a home deposit.
• Unplanned pregnancies account for 40% of births.
• Lack of choice in housing affects areas ranging from pre-school attendance through to continuity of healthcare and community belonging.
• Almost all the children completed their Well Child/Tamariki Ora health checks in their first nine months.
• By the time they were six weeks old, 75% had been to Plunket.
• One in three (30%) of children live in a house where their mother and another adult smokes.
• Nearly all (95%) children had their 15-month immunisations but this was lowest for the most vulnerable families.
• A quarter of our children are growing up in extended family situations.

Source

• New Zealand Herald
• Family Matters
• growingup.co.nz.
• Image: Anglican Taonga

It waited until after I'd showered, watched an episode of Orange is the New Black, painted my nails a lurid green, and taken the polish off after discovering it looked foul. By the time I called her back I was late for work.

Mum told me that she had some odd test results and that the doctors might have "found something". She told me she was frightened and that she didn't want to die.

I put aside my sense of dread and told her she was being silly. "People get odd test results all the time. And even if there is something they'll just remove it. Easy."

I went to work. I sat in a meeting. I realised with some detachment that the hatred I felt for the guy next to me clicking his pen was irrational.

My sister called. "They have the scan back. There's something in her liver."

I stared at the computer screen, trying to remember what the liver did. It sounded important.

I have an intense aversion to crying in public, and emailed my boss to let her know I needed to leave.

I explained that if she came over to talk to me about it or even glanced in my direction then I'd make the most horrible scene.

The smiley face at the end of my email was intended somewhere between a "Don't worry, it'll be fine!" and "Sorry for the inconvenience". Continue reading.

Louise Burston is an author, living in Wellington.

Source: The Wireless

Image: The Wireless

The pilgrimage, organised for the Year of Faith, attracted more than 100,000 people to St Peter's Square.

The Pope acknowledged that "life is often wearisome, and many times tragically so".

However, he continued, "what is most burdensome in life is not this: what weighs more than all of these things is a lack of love".

"Dear families, the Lord knows our struggles," the Holy Father said, repeating with emphasis: "He knows them!"

He encouraged the pilgrimage families to persevere amid difficulties and to have faith in God and in each other, rather than paying attention to "this makeshift culture, which can shatter our lives".

In his homily at Mass, the Pope mentioned three important characteristics of families:

First, "the family prays". Saying the Our Father together "is not something extraordinary; it's easy", he said. Praying the Rosary as a family "is very beautiful and a source of great strength".

Second, he said, "the family keeps the faith". He stressed that "Christian families are missionary families".

"How do we keep our faith as a family? Do we keep it for ourselves, in our families, as a personal treasure like a bank account, or are we able to share it by our witness, by our acceptance of others, by our openness?"

Third, "the family experiences joy". A family that lives by the light of Christian faith will naturally communicate that joy, he said. "That family is the salt of the earth and the light of the world, it is the leaven of society as a whole."

Pope Francis urged Catholic couples to go against the cultural trend of seeing everything, including relationships, as fleeting. Marriage is a life-long journey, he said, "a long journey, not little pieces".

Sources:

Catholic News Service

Vatican Information Service

Catholic News Agency

Image: Catholic News Agency

SPIEGEL: Dr. Solomon, in your book you write about Jason Kingsley, who was a child star on "Sesame Street." What's so fascinating about him?

Solomon: Jason was the first person with Down syndrome to become a public figure. His mother Emily was shocked when he was diagnosed. There were no models for how to bring up such a child. Should they institutionalize him? Should they keep him at home?

SPIEGEL: We are talking here about the 1970s …

Solomon: Yes, when early intervention was still a new idea. So she developed this scheme of constant stimulation. She had his room covered in brightly colored things. She talked to him all the time. She even gave him a bath in Jell-O, so that he could feel that texture. And he did, in fact, develop extraordinarily. He talked early, counted and was able to do a lot of things that children with Down syndrome had been thought unable to do. And so his mother went to "Sesame Street," and said, "I would like to put Jason on the program." The people at " Sesame Street," who were in many ways liberal visionaries, agreed to have him on.

SPIEGEL: Are you saying that parents can overcome such an impairment of their child if they only try hard enough?

Solomon: Yes and no. Jason did accomplish an extraordinary amount, but he also has many limitations. His mother said to me: "I made him into the highest functioning person with Down syndrome there had ever been, but I did not know that I was also setting him up for quite a lot of loneliness, because he's too high-functioning for most other people who have Down syndrome, but he's not high enough functioning to ever have an equal relationship with people who don't."

SPIEGEL: You met hundreds of families for your book: Some are dwarfs, others are schizophrenic, autistic or deaf. Still others have committed crimes or they are prodigies. Do they have something in common with Jason Kingsley?

Solomon: I think so. I wanted to find out: How do you as a parent make peace with having been given a child who is in some sense completely alien to you? With having a child who is different from everything you would have fantasized? Emily Kingsley wrote a piece called "Welcome to Holland," in which she laid out the idea that having a disabled child is as if you were planning a trip to Italy, and you ended up by mistake in Holland. It's less flashy, it's not where all your friends are going. But it has windmills, it has Rembrandts. It has many things in it that are deeply satisfying if you allow yourself to be awake to them, instead of spending the whole time wishing you were in Italy.

SPIEGEL: And the same applies to the parents of autistic children or criminal offenders?

Solomon: My fundamental idea is that there are many identities that are passed down generationally, like nationality, language, religion or the color of one's skin. But there are many times when a family is dealing with a child that's fundamentally different from anything with which the parents have had previous experience. People with Down syndrome are by and large not born to other people with Down syndrome. Continue reading

Sources

• Spiegel Online
• Image: Sheila Oettinger

More than half the world's population—now lives in societies where the fertility rate has been dropping, like a stone in some places, for decades. Among demographers, the prevailing narrative for this sea change in human affairs talks of economic development finished off by cultural change. As countries grow wealthier and more urban, with higher levels of education for women, as well as men, women naturally wish to have fewer children; add in access to safe and effective means to that end—contraception and abortion—and that's precisely what they do.

True enough, but not the whole truth, argues Harvard demographer Michael Teitelbaum, co-author (with Yale historian Jay Winter) of The Global Spread of Fertility Decline. At the core of the change, Teitelbaum believes, lies the rational belief of young adults—especially the highly educated, those most aware of the weak points in their society's institutions—that they live in "risk societies." The risks they see can reach to the apocalyptic (will there be another Chernobyl, another 9/11, how many more Lac-Mégantics?) to macroeconomic pessimism (can today's social welfare entitlements last?) to individual concerns(will we ever be able to own a house?). Marriage- and child-aversion are among their risk-management strategies. Continue reading

Sources

• MacLean's
• Image: The Encyclopedia of New Zealand