"We are living in a serious demographic winter, and we must react to it with all our force, with our work, with our ideas," he said as he welcomed Italian Forum of Family Associations members to the Vatican last week.

Francis was referencing the Italian government's statistics office April report, which said Italy's birthrate had hit an all-time low.

It reported seven births for every 12 deaths and migration not making up for the population loss. It said "2006 was the last time in which there was a substantial balance between births and deaths".

Continuing his welcome, Francis said: "My secretary told me the other day that, walking through St. Peter's Square, he saw a woman with a stroller, and he wanted to see the baby, but there was a puppy inside.

"It's a symbol. That's why I'm telling you. We need children."

Catholic family associations' first task is to witness to the "joy of being a family," Francis said.

That doesn't mean pretending everything is always wonderful, he clarified.

"But there is a joy that passes through all those situations, because it is on a deeper level and comes precisely from being a family and, with a deep sense of gratitude, perceiving that as a gift" from God and from one's parents and grandparents and children and grandchildren.

"I repeat, I am not talking about an ‘ideal' family, a standard model to apply in order to be happy.

"Every family has its journey and its story, just like every person does."

In lobbying for family-friendly services and government policies, the associations should not "start from a particular ideology, but on the basis of the doctrine and the social practice of the Church," he said.

The method must be one of dialogue, not working for partisan interests, but for the common good.

Open to life and the needs of the society around them, the families should make "a political commitment in the widest and highest sense as a contribution to the common good of the country, so that families are not exploited and then penalized, but promoted and supported," he said.

It is time "to pass from words to facts and from palliative measures to a real and effective therapy."

The forum should not follow the debates simply to criticise one party or another, but to offer their experience and constructive suggestions.

Source

• Catholic News Service

Previous research highlights not only the sheer size of the Millennial generation, which now surpasses Baby Boomers as the largest, but also its racial and ethnic diversity and high rates of educational attainment.

This research also notes that Millennials have been slower than previous generations to establish their own households.

A new analysis of government data by Pew Research Center shows that Millennials are taking a different path in forming - or not forming - families. Millennials trail previous generations at the same age across three typical measures of family life: living in a family unit, marriage rates and birth rates.

Millennials lag furthest behind in the share living with a spouse and child. Only three-in-ten Millennials fell into this category in 2019, compared with 40% of Gen Xers, 46% of Boomers and 70% of Silents when they were the age Millennials are now.

At the same time, the share of Millennials who live with a spouse and no child is comparable to previous generations (13%), while the share living with a child but no spouse (12%) is the same as Gen X but higher than Boomers and Silents.

Among Millennials, there are significant differences in the share living in a family of their own by race, ethnicity and educational attainment.

Black Millennials are the least likely to live in a family - 46% do, compared with 57% of white and Hispanic Millennials and 54% of Asians.

Black Millennials are more likely than other groups to live with a child and no spouse (22%, compared with 16% of Hispanic, 9% of white and 4% of Asian Millennials).

Overall, Millennials with less than a high school diploma are more likely than those with more education to live in a family (63% compared with 55% each of high school graduates, those with some college education and college graduates).

Millennials with a bachelor's degree or more education are more likely than those with less education to live with a spouse and no child (18% compared with 11% of those with some college education, 10% of high school graduates, and 7% of those with less than a high school diploma).

College-educated Millennials are the least likely to live with a child and no spouse (4%), while those with less than a high school education are the most likely to fall into this category (21%).

A look at Millennials who aren't living with a family of their own reveals that most live in other family arrangements: 14% of Millennials live with their parents, and another 14% live with other family members. In both cases, these shares are higher than for other generations when they were in their 20s and 30s.

Previous research has shown that, even after the economy started to recover from the Great Recession, the share of Millennials living in their parents' homes continued to rise.

Millennial men are much more likely than Millennial women to live with their parents (18% of men compared with 10% of women).

Millennial men without a college degree are especially likely to fall into this category (21%, compared with 12% of Millennial men with a bachelor's or higher degree).

About one-in-ten Millennials (9%) live alone. This is similar to the share of Gen Xers and Boomers who did so at a comparable age but higher than the share of Silents. Some 7% of Millennials live in a household with non-family members.

A majority of Millennials are not currently married, marking a significant change from past generations. Only 44% of Millennials were married in 2019, compared with 53% of Gen Xers, 61% of Boomers and 81% of Silents at a comparable age.

What does marriage look like for Millennials who have tied the knot?

They are getting married later in life than previous generations. The median age at first marriage has edged up gradually in recent decades.

In 2019, the average man first got married at age 30, and the average woman was 28 when she first wed. This is three years later - for both men and women - than in 2003, four years later than in 1987 and seven years later than in 1968. Continue reading

• The analysis or comments in this article do not necessarily reflect the view of CathNews.

A recent report suggests that women's social networks positively affect her child's cognitive development, says Dr John Shaver from the University of Otago.

The analysis also suggests that religious women have stronger support networks.

Shaver says that previous studies have found that sibling number is negatively related to a child's cognitive and physiological development.

It is also negatively related to a child's socioeconomic success in adulthood.

This happens because parents have less time, and fewer resources to invest in their development.

"The expectation, based on these findings, would be that due to differences in family sizes, children born to religious parents would exhibit poorer developmental outcomes than children born to secular parents," Shaver says.

The report's authors tested the hypothesis that religious cooperation extends to alloparenting (investment in children by people other than the child's parents), that higher levels of social support for religious mothers were associated with their fertility and their children's development.

Shaver says while the findings only support some hypotheses, they were mostly consistent with the idea that religions in modern environments support cooperative breeding strategies.

Women who receive help from members of their congregation have higher fertility, and this aid, as well as more general forms of social support, were both associated with improved child cognitive development.

"By positively influencing social support, religion in the UK may help some women have more children, without sacrificing the success of these children."

Shaver is the lead author of the report Church attendance and alloparenting: An analysis of fertility, social support, and child development among English mothers, published this month in Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B, the world's oldest English language journal.

Source

• otago.ac.nz
• newstalkzb.co.nz
• voxy.co.nz
• Image: teara.govt.nz

Ann, 79, and Bryan, 82, have also fostered about 12 children throughout their marriage.

The Watts still live in the four-bedroom home they moved into after their wedding day.

Bryan said he never imagined having such a large family.

"When we were starry-eyed teenagers we aimed to have about six children," he said.

"We had our first two children, and then there was a three-year break, so we decided to foster some children, and we relaxed a bit and had more children of our own."

The foster children included a set of twins who lived with the Watt family for about seven years. They still keep in contact and visit, Bryan said.

The most up-to-date census records there are three families with up to 14 children.

The number of families with 15 or more children is randomly rounded to protect privacy. However, an analyst believes that the number is below three.

"My parents are very giving and, for any families that for a number of reasons couldn't care for their own kids, Mum and Dad took them into their care," said Gerard, the ninth Watt child.

"It was always a very busy household, and one of the benefits of being part of such a large family was you pick up all sorts of skills such as how to socialise and being able to negotiate things like bathroom time.

"You also had to be well organised as we only had one bathroom and one toilet and there was a slot of time in the morning to get ready. You couldn't miss it."

Source

• pressreader.com
• www.stuff.co.nz
• Image: stuff.co.nz

The charity event was hosted by the Centre for Marriage and Family (CMF) on 10 November in Tawa, near Wellington.

The American Filipino-born priest who travels the world sharing the importance of family dinners, delighted attendees with a live cooking demonstration while at the same time sharing biblical truths such as a knife being the double-edged sword of the Bible.

Renowned New Zealand chef Martin Bosley also spoke at the event about his culinary journey and his charity work with prisoners, called Prison Gate to Plate.

People were able to taste the gourmet pasta meal prepared by prisoners from the Rimutaka prison.

Director of CMF Patrica Sison said "Both Fr Leo and Martin Bosley are involved in the important work of helping prisoners out of a life recidivism."

In the afternoon session, Leo, who is also a third-degree black belt instructor, treated the audience to a live martial arts demonstration as he explained aspects of spiritual warfare.

Sison said Leo is a multi-talented man with a deep prayer life and it shows in the ways he is able to relate faith with food and other aspects of life and, at the same time, communicate deep spiritual truths; much in the same way Jesus would have done through his parables.

Leo is the founder of Plating Grace, a movement to bring families back to the dinner table.

He believes the simple act of creating and sharing a meal can strengthen all kinds of relationships.

"We believe in the power of food to do good - for all people, no matter their background - as food is the common denominator that can bridge people and culture" he says.

He says it's important to sit down at the table and have dinner with your kids, "it's good for them and will make them better people."

Leo is also an award-winning author and radio and tv show host. He has a weekly tv show called Savouring Our Faith on the Catholic Channel EWTN.

He lives in a consecrated community called Voluntas Dei (The Will of God).

Source

Supplied: Patrica Sison, Director Centre for Marriage and Family

Tagaloatele Peggy Fairbairn-Dunlop said people had been saying old family values of fa'asamoa have weakened and it's now time to go back to traditions like evening family prayers.

She said the Commission would be recommending an agency to disseminate uniform messages on family violence.

Tagaloatele said it was also felt the public health system should be the agency to deal with domestic violence.

Parents needed to engage with their children and stop normalising family violence. Families also needed to feel less pressured by church and fa'alavelave or big family events.

She said men and women had different knowledge and strengths but it did not mean one gender had control over the other.

Public presentations to the Commission have revealed that domestic violence is a real problem and on the rise.

Many presentations indicated that domestic violence has become normalised in Samoan society.

The Samoa Observer reported that the country's attorney general, Lemalu Hermann Retzlaff, told the Commission that while there are "strong legislation and protective laws" in place, the question is whether they are being implemented.

He spoke of the No Drop Policy which was introduced in 2013, but said the implementation of such protective laws depends on social attitudes.

Tagaloatele taught at the University of the South Pacific Alafua School of Agriculture in Samoa for over 15 years.

She has held posts with UNDP, UNIFEM and UNESCO and worked with national planning offices and NGOs in most Pacific countries before her return to New Zealand in 2006.

In 2009 she became inaugural Professor of Pacific Studies at the Auckland University of Technology and has been teaching, researching and publishing on Pacific development issues.

Source

• RNZ
• RNZ
• AUT
• Samoan Biographies
• Image: c.tadest.com

Last year they moved from Takapuna into a retirement village in Birkenhead; Madeleine's dementia was getting worse, and Kevin's own health was frail. They would die within 30 hours of each other.

Earlier this year, 93-year-old Kevin got a chest infection that morphed into the flu before becoming pneumonia.

Family members rushed home from around the world, to be by his side for what were expected to be his final moments.

But on July 30 they got a call to say it was their mother and grandmother, Madeleine, 88, who had died.

The couple's son Paul Feeney — assistant coach of the Stormers Super rugby team in South Africa — broke the news to his father.

Kevin was in a non-responsive state, but Paul reckons he understood: 45 minutes later he passed away himself.

"It was quite romantic," said Paul. "I told him he didn't have to worry about mum any more, that she was waiting for him in heaven."

Feeney described his parents as quiet, family oriented people who lead by example and were "good Catholics". They had three children and nine grandchildren.

While Madeleine had been unable to recognise family for about four months, it was "still a massive shock" when she died, said Paul.

"But in the end you couldn't have scripted it better," he said. "They adored each other and were a great team, so for us it was just meant to be."

Source

• Stuff.co.nz
• Image: Stuff

Married At First Sight trivialised marriage for ratings and did not give the couples their best chance at success, she said.

Married At First Sight pairs couples "at the altar" as they embark on an experiment to see if they can fall in love. The Australian version of the show rated well. Despite canning an earlier Married At First Sight series Continue reading

They became co-ordinators for the Pacific in 1995. And then came the call to lead the global programme.

Between 2005 and 2010 they travelled the world encouraging individual countries to promote and develop Marriage Encounter.

And during that time they were also part of team that facilitated the annual meeting of the representatives from 92 countries, from all of the continents, of the world where Worldwide Marriage Encounter.

In 2010 they met Pope Benedict. they say they were overwhelmed by the occasion. They did not know until the last minute that we were going to actually meet the Holy Father.

"We were humbled by his presence and moved by his words to us. He affirmed the work that Marriage Encounter was doing for the church."

Earlier this month David and Bronwyn featured in a article in the Manawatu Standard. They told the Standard that they met at St Anthony's Primary School in Pahiatua when David was six and an Bronwyn was five and they've been inseparable ever since.

Bronwyn is the chief executive of Tararua College. David was a Tararua district councillor for 33 years and deputy mayor for 12 years.

He owned Pahiatua Reality, before joining Property Brokers, and continues as a real estate trainer for them.

He's been a JP for 24 years, a marriage celebrant for 20. He's a trustee for Eastern and Central Community Trust, a board member of the Regent on Broadway Trust.

Worldwide Marriage Encounter offers a weekend experience designed to give married couples the opportunity to learn a technique of loving communication that they can use for the rest of their lives.

The weekend provides a conducive environment for couples to spend time together, away from the distractions and tensions of everyday life, while encouraging them to focus on each other and their relationship.

It's not a retreat, marriage clinic, group therapy, or a substitute for counselling. It's a unique approach aimed at revitalising Marriage.

Source

• marriageencounter.org.nz
• stuff.co.nz
• welcom
• Image: resources.stuff.co.nz

The Family Fun Day Out at Aotea Lagoon included games and spot prizes, a walk around the lagoon, cakes, live music and a sausage sizzle.

Many young couples and families attended despite the threat of wet weather.

World Marriage Day is held every second Sunday of February in many countries.

Its origins began in Baton Rouge, Louisiana in 1981, when couples encouraged the Mayor, the Governor and the Bishop to proclaim St. Valentines Day as ‘We Believe in Marriage Day'.

The event was so successful the idea was presented to and was adopted by Worldwide Marriage Encounter's National Leadership.

Since then World Marriage Day celebrations continue to grow and spread to more countries and faith expressions every year.

"What impacted me the most, was that it was a lovely and joyous statement about the value to our society of marriage and family," said Centre Chairman Ewen Laurenson and co-founder of the Open Home Foundation.

He and his wife Gillian won the prize for the longest married couple of 47 years

Centre Director Patricia Sison said, "I felt God honoured the occasion in the way the weather held."

"God is good! He made the sun come out as He said he would and at just the right time- 2 pm the start of the event."

"He is faithful and I have gained a better understanding of what marriage is through his faithfulness in my life."

Read press release

Source

• Supplied
• Image: Supplied

The movie which stars Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell and Kathryn Hahn is the second-most commercially successful movie of 2016.

"This despite—or perhaps because—it has offended all ends of the social spectrum," says film critic Tom Teodorczuk

The poster has been put up on bus stops all round Auckland shows women "flipping the bird."

PTA chairwoman Annette Fale said she was appalled that that particular poster was posted on the school's bus stop.

"It just paints a bad picture of mothers," she said. "I don't think mums behave that way, especially in front of their children, so why is it appropriate to put that poster up at a school's bus stop?"

"Every day, student's of St Mary's line up at that bus stop and the poster is visible to everyone."

"It's not a comfortable conversation to have with your kids if they saw it and started asking questions."

On Monday Maungakiekie-Tamaki councillor Denise Krum said she had contacted Auckland Transport about the poster.

"I'm always up for a laugh at the movies but little kids don't need to see imagery like that next to the word 'mom' outside their school," she said.

Auckland Transport media relations manager Mark Hannan said contractor Adshel had been told to take down the "unacceptable" advertisement as it was in breach of the council-controlled organisation's advertising policy.

"We have ordered Adshel to remove the advertisement and they will be doing that today. We have also asked them to check other shelters in Auckland and to remove the content."

Adshel general manager Nick Vile confirmed the posters were removed on Tuesday morning.

Bad Moms, the girl-power comedy in which Kristen Bell, Mila Kunis and Kathryn Hahn toss their kids to one side and get up to some raunchy antics, has grossed $86 million and is a triumph for fledging studio STX Entertainment.

Source

• stuff.co.nz
• heastst.com
• Image: tatic.kidspot.com.au

He said that it is insufficient simply to drop the truth on people and then smugly walk away. Rather, he insisted, you must accompany those you have instructed, committing yourself to helping them integrate the truth that you have shared.

I thought of this intervention by the late cardinal often as I was reading Pope Francis' apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia. If I might make bold to summarize a complex 264-page document, I would say that Pope Francis wants the truths regarding marriage, sexuality, and family to be unambiguously declared, but that he also wants the Church's ministers to reach out in mercy and compassion to those who struggle to incarnate those truths in their lives.

In regard to the moral objectivities of marriage, the Pope is bracingly clear. He unhesitatingly puts forward the Church's understanding that authentic marriage is between a man and a woman, who have committed themselves to one another in permanent fidelity, expressing their mutual love and openness to children, and abiding as a sacrament of Christ's love for his Church (52, 71).

He bemoans any number of threats to this ideal, including moral relativism, a pervasive cultural narcissism, the ideology of self-invention, pornography, the "throwaway" society, etc. He explicitly calls to our attention the teaching of Pope Paul VI in Humanae Vitae regarding the essential connection between the unitive and the procreative dimensions of conjugal love (80).

Moreover, he approvingly cites the consensus of the recent Synod on the Family that homosexual relationships cannot be considered even vaguely analogous to what the Church means by marriage (251). He is especially strong in his condemnation of ideologies that dictate that gender is merely a social construct and can be changed or manipulated according to our choice (56).

Such moves are tantamount, he argues, to forgetting the right relationship between creature and Creator. Finally, any doubt regarding the Pope's attitude toward the permanence of marriage is dispelled as clearly and directly as possible: "The indissolubility of marriage—‘what God has joined together, let no man put asunder' (Mt 19:6) —should not be viewed as a ‘yoke' imposed on humanity, but as a ‘gift' granted to those who are joined in marriage..." (62). Continue reading

• Bishop Robert Barron is an auxiliary bishop of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles and the founder of Word on Fire Catholic Ministries.
• See also: Francis' sprawling Exhortation a marriage of profound and muddled

"He has described himself as a sinner," writes Archbishop Desmond Tutu in Pope Francis' entry on Time's list of the 100 most influential people in the world, "and his nonjudgmental views on … issues such as sexual orientation and divorce have brought hope to millions of Roman Catholics around the world."

But there's one issue that can make even Cool Pope Francis himself sound a little, well, judgy.

"A society with a greedy generation, that doesn't want to surround itself with children, that considers them above all worrisome, a weight, a risk, is a depressed society," the pontiff told an audience in St. Peter's Square earlier this year.

"The choice not to have children is selfish. Life rejuvenates and acquires energy when it multiplies: It is enriched, not impoverished."

Ignore the irony of a man who's celibate by choice delivering a lecture on the sacred duty of procreating, and focus instead on his use of the word "selfish."

This particular descriptor is both the word most commonly associated with people who decide not to have children, and part of the title of a new collection of essays, Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed, by 16 different writers (both female and male) who fall into exactly that category.

While the association appears to be so deeply embedded in the collective psyche that it'd take dynamite to shift it, if the book reveals anything, it's that there's an awful lot more to not wanting children than the impulse to put oneself first.

"People who want children are all alike," writes editor Meghan Daum in the book's introduction, with apologies to Tolstoy. "People who don't want children don't want them in their own way." Continue reading

• Sophie Gilbert in The Atlantic

Sophie Gilbert is a senior editor at The Atlantic, where she oversees the Entertainment section.

Is it having plentiful sofas, nice neighbours, or perhaps super-fast Wi-Fi? Believe it or not, they all make the list according to a recent study cited on the Be Home Blog.

As well as some (perhaps more surprising?) factors which would seem to make for less family time, but do play a part in preventing tension - for example, everyone having their own phones, or having a lock on the bathroom door.

These above points might seem trivial, but there are others on the list (of 50 - see the full list here) that do resonate with me. Here are my favourites:

Keeping the home tidy

Seems unnecessary? Not so! There's something about being in clean, neat surroundings that calms a person. I've heard it said that the state of your wardrobe reflects the state of your soul - wouldn't it make sense then, that the state of your home affects the state of your mind? It's so much easier to relax in a tidy home - you actually want to be there rather than escape it. I'd say it's one of the foundations for fostering a pleasant environment.

Knowing when to say sorry

There's nothing quite like rising tensions and long-held grudges to kill the mood of a home. If people are upset at each other, everyone can sense it, that's for sure. Admitting being at fault and then apologising is certainly a hard thing to do, but if you're brought up doing this in the little things, then it's easier to do it in the bigger things. I've always tried to apologise and making peace before going to bed. "Don't let the sun set on your anger" and all that. Continue reading

• Tamara Rajakariar in MercatorNet

Tamara Rajakariar lives in Australia and is a Journalism graduate from the University of Technology, Sydney.

In an interview with NCR, U.S. bishops' conference president Archbishop Joseph Kurtz said the synod is starting a process of discernment among the church's prelates.

"It's not debate," said Kurtz, who heads the Louisville, Ky., archdiocese. "It's discernment."

Likening the process to a family discussion, he continued: "I really do believe that when a family comes together, a family comes together to discern."

"I hope we don't always define that as debate," Kurtz said. "Now, sad would that family be if they didn't have the freedom to express those differences so that they could come together in truth and charity."

The synod, one of two called by Pope Francis for 2014 and 2015 on family life issues, is being held Oct. 5-19 and includes about 190 prelates from around the world.

Kurtz is one of four Americans in the group, joined by Cardinals Raymond Burke, Timothy Dolan and Donald Wuerl.

The synod made global headlines Monday when it released a working document summarizing its first week of discussions, known as a relatio post disceptationem, which called on the church to listen more and to apply mercy much more widely.

This week, the prelates met in 10 working groups, divided by language, to discuss that document and to submit possible revisions.

Those revisions were submitted Thursday morning and are to be used in drafting a final document for the synod for submission to Pope Francis by Sunday.

On Friday, Kurtz said his group focused on conveying a message of openness from the church to people.

Kurtz said when he was a parish priest visiting the houses of his parishioners, he "would seek to acknowledge the good that I saw." Continue reading

Sources

• National Catholic Reporter
• Image: Busted Halo

The Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops is to run for two weeks.

Its theme: "The Pastoral Challenges of the Family In the Context of Evangelization."

Here are the basics:

Who: The meeting brings together 191 high-level clergy members from around the world, as well as 16 experts and 38 other laypeople who will speak to the bishops.

Most of the laypeople are married couples attending to talk about their experiences. One of the couples is Muslim-Catholic.

What: During the first week, everyone meets for four hours in the morning and three more in the afternoon. The second week, they will break into smaller groups.

What's the end game? No big changes or announcements will come during these two weeks.

Pope Francis has simply opened the door for extremely frank dialogue about what is working and what isn't when it comes to the way the church handles things ranging from families led by same-sex couples to divorce.

Next fall, the bishops will be back to lay out a pastoral plan. There may be a rough draft of proposals made public between then and now.

On Friday, Synod Secretary-General Cardinal Lorenzo Baldisseri told reporters that the meeting was called "to discuss a particularly urgent topic, using appropriate guidelines for the present time, for the good of the entire church. . . .The Christian perspective is based upon history and not ideology, and we find ourselves in an historical moment of change." Continue reading

Sources

• The Washington Post
• Image: The Catholic Church in England and Wales
• See also: Michelle Boorstein, 'For many Catholics, a disconnect between Church teaching and family life'.

In the interest of family peace we kept our living arrangement secret from my devoutly Catholic grandparents who would not have approved.

I wonder what my grandparents, who died a few years ago, would have thought about Pope Francis' decision last month to marry 20 couples, many of whom had been "living in sin".

One couple even had children before marriage.

Unthinkable for Catholics of my grandparents' generation.

Today, many Catholics in Australia and elsewhere reject Catholic teaching in their family life: they have sex outside of marriage, use artificial contraception and get divorced.

Some Catholics - holy and devout - are gay and lesbian and live in same-sex families.

Pope Francis seems to get this.

He's gone out of his way to make the point that the Church needs to stop legalistically obsessing about marriage and sex and instead focus on welcoming and supporting people who love one another authentically.

However, I'm not so sure the Vatican bureaucracy or the rest of the Church hierarchy agrees.

The Vatican is organising a Synod on the Family to be held from this Sunday.

A Synod is a worldwide gathering of bishops convened to consider how the Church should respond to emerging challenges.

Pope Francis provided the Synod on the Family with a promising start by conducting a global survey to ask Catholics what they thought about Church teaching regarding families.

Many Catholics told the Pope that the Church's rules had little relevance to their lives or said the Church's positions were alienating and harmful to their family.

In light of Pope Francis' actions and the results of the survey, one might think the Synod is an excellent opportunity for Catholic bishops to acknowledge that a group of celibate, ordained, older men is not the font of all wisdom when it comes to sex, families and relationships. Continue reading

- Kristina Keneally is a former NSW premier. She is a practicing Catholic, wife and mother.

The bishops acknowledged that Church teaching can sometimes be a challenge, with some respondents seeing the teaching "as disconnected from real-life experience".

Continue reading

SPIEGEL: Dr. Solomon, in your book you write about Jason Kingsley, who was a child star on "Sesame Street." What's so fascinating about him?

Solomon: Jason was the first person with Down syndrome to become a public figure. His mother Emily was shocked when he was diagnosed. There were no models for how to bring up such a child. Should they institutionalize him? Should they keep him at home?

SPIEGEL: We are talking here about the 1970s …

Solomon: Yes, when early intervention was still a new idea. So she developed this scheme of constant stimulation. She had his room covered in brightly colored things. She talked to him all the time. She even gave him a bath in Jell-O, so that he could feel that texture. And he did, in fact, develop extraordinarily. He talked early, counted and was able to do a lot of things that children with Down syndrome had been thought unable to do. And so his mother went to "Sesame Street," and said, "I would like to put Jason on the program." The people at " Sesame Street," who were in many ways liberal visionaries, agreed to have him on.

SPIEGEL: Are you saying that parents can overcome such an impairment of their child if they only try hard enough?

Solomon: Yes and no. Jason did accomplish an extraordinary amount, but he also has many limitations. His mother said to me: "I made him into the highest functioning person with Down syndrome there had ever been, but I did not know that I was also setting him up for quite a lot of loneliness, because he's too high-functioning for most other people who have Down syndrome, but he's not high enough functioning to ever have an equal relationship with people who don't."

SPIEGEL: You met hundreds of families for your book: Some are dwarfs, others are schizophrenic, autistic or deaf. Still others have committed crimes or they are prodigies. Do they have something in common with Jason Kingsley?

Solomon: I think so. I wanted to find out: How do you as a parent make peace with having been given a child who is in some sense completely alien to you? With having a child who is different from everything you would have fantasized? Emily Kingsley wrote a piece called "Welcome to Holland," in which she laid out the idea that having a disabled child is as if you were planning a trip to Italy, and you ended up by mistake in Holland. It's less flashy, it's not where all your friends are going. But it has windmills, it has Rembrandts. It has many things in it that are deeply satisfying if you allow yourself to be awake to them, instead of spending the whole time wishing you were in Italy.

SPIEGEL: And the same applies to the parents of autistic children or criminal offenders?

Solomon: My fundamental idea is that there are many identities that are passed down generationally, like nationality, language, religion or the color of one's skin. But there are many times when a family is dealing with a child that's fundamentally different from anything with which the parents have had previous experience. People with Down syndrome are by and large not born to other people with Down syndrome. Continue reading

Sources

• Spiegel Online
• Image: Sheila Oettinger

Beginning with a disclaimer "Don't get me wrong. I love kids. They're adorable and tons of fun to be around," it goes on to "shows just how much damage kids can do".

The minute-long commercial has been described at "borderline melodramatic genius" by Adweek, and won best spec spot of the year in a recent advertising competition.

Adweek says the advertisement is, "an excellent depiction of what may lie ahead if you're not careful." and advises men to protect themselves.

"The music, which masterfully drives the piece, is Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 14, also known as the Moonlight Sonata, which is offset by humorous yet dramatic cinematography", it says.

"The slow motion increasingly builds the misery of fatherhood: the unkempt yard, the overcooked hot dogs, the wild kids (why won't they stop running around?), the screaming wife, the fake smiles."

"Will it ever end? Then, wham, a wake-up call, a shot to the family jewels. Don't let it get this far, guys. Protect yourselves now so you don't have to protect yourselves for the rest of your natural lives."

Source

• Essential Mums
• Adweek
• Image: Bab.unica.ro