Coping with cyber-bullying

What can be more painful to a parent than losing a child to suicide?

The problem of cyberbullying was brought to national attention several years ago by the passing of 13-year-old Megan Meier, who committed suicide subsequent to cyberbullying by Lori Drew, the mother of another girl.

Despite years of public campaigns and passage of laws against cyberbullying, the phenomenon is becoming increasingly common and children continue to suffer, with too may of them tragically taking their own lives.

What can you do to protect your children from the ravages of cyberbullying?

The advice we usually get from experts is that adults need to increase their supervision of children, to inform the school and the legal authorities when cyberbullying is discovered, and to fight for increasingly tough anti-bullying laws.

While such efforts may be helpful and are sometimes necessary, if you are depending upon them as the ultimate solution for your children, you are likely to be disappointed.

It would be wonderful if we could solve social problems simply by passing laws against them, but bullying has been an escalating problem despite passage of intensive anti-bullying laws. Getting the authorities involved against other people’s children usually escalates hostilities, as their parents are likely to take their own kids’ sides against yours, and the kids will hate your child for trying to get them in trouble.

Many bullied children who have taken their own lives did so after the authorities got involved. And as much as you may wish to, you can never fully supervise your children’s use of cell phones and computers or you’ll have no time for anything else. Furthermore, if you try to deprive them of all privacy, they are likely resent you.

If you truly wish to help your children avoid the pain of cyberbullying, it helps to take a different attitude towards the problem.

Would you give your children a car and let them drive it without having learned how to use it properly and how to avoid the dangers of the road? Continue reading

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