We’re called to love rather than to win arguments

The battles over gay marriage are intense. And bitter. One must only look at the comboxes of Catholic blogs and websites to understand that. I have taken part in bitter debates as well. I probably shouldn’t even call them debates so much as exchanged accusations. Sometimes

I’ll admit I sometimes opt for the witty verbal coup de grace rather than exhibiting grace.

A blogger, Lauren at The Loveliest Hour, wrote something about the Court’s decision which gave me pause:

I believe that marriage is the fruit of natural love, a gift from God, of that familial bond between husband and wife with the ideal purpose of having children. Sounds archaic to you maybe, but that’s what I believe to be true. But I do see these people, and I realize that they want to be happy. They’re just like everyone else, trying to live their lives quietly. Often extraordinarily talented, generous and caring about the world they live in. They want to love, and for some reason I cannot define, that is the way that they are pulled.

And many may interpret our words and our votes as a denial of happiness. A denial of life, in the only way they can see. We become the enemy. My heart breaks. You might say, “but they have an agenda. they want to change our nation. they want to change the Church.” Some might, but I don’t think all do. I think most of these folks are just living their lives as best they can, just like you and I.

also think of their loved ones. They are a son or daughter, a parent, a coworker, a childhood friend, a neighbor, a confidant. To them, they are not a statistic. They are not a news story. They are a person. To be valued and loved. And all these people, they listen to our answers and comments and thoughts and hear: “you cannot love. you cannot be happy.” Continue reading


Matthew Archbold s a former journalist who left the newspaper business to raise his five children.



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