Dennis Farrelly

Monday, August 12th, 2013

In my fifth year they decided I would go to Mount Street. I was enrolled for the polytech and also for two papers at varsity: New Zealand History and Comparative Religions. As time went on I dropped the polytech and concentrated on the papers at varsity I quite enjoyed history and Comparative Religions but whether I should have gone to Mount Street, in hindsight wad debatable.

The turning point that made me really question whether this was my vocation was in the Comparative Religions. There was this woman there. She was absolutely beautiful and gradually I wanted to see her a bit more and talk to her and we got on. She was actually a nurse at Wellington Hospital. She had to be away one day and she said, “Can you get me the notes?” It suited me fine because there was an attraction. She had something special about her. I would go ato study at the varsity and think, ‘I hope she’s here.’ That started to draw me away from my community. I used to go for runs. I’d run up around Wadestown where she lived and I would drop in to see her. I was upfront with her about being a seminarian and everything. It was just that I was infatuated with her.

I still remember getting back late for night prayer because I was in the library and she was there. Now deep in mind I used to be strident about getting to liturgy, but gradually it wasn’t quite as important. It was a gradual breaking down of my focus on Religious and priestly life. I started to have doubts.

I went to my spiritual director, Joe Cahill, about it. Originally he said, “No, you don’t have to leave because of that.” But as I went back more to Joe he said, “Maybe this is not the vocation for you.” I was hoping he would say that because I felt I had to go. When Joe came around too, it settled me down. In fact to break the news with Joe initially was hard going. Joe was tremendous in the community. He was the old holy guy that you could relate to. He was straight-up. He was in the world and yet not of this world. He was a real man. I didn’t feel as if I had to hold back. I could reate to Joe even though he was close to seventy then.

Yes, this woman was the turning point, as it were. I remember telling her, “I’m going to leave.” And she said, “Is it because we’ve studied all these other religions?” I said, “Oh no, it’s nothing to do with that, I’ve still got my Christianity.”

I never told that woman, but I wrote one letter to her. I didn’t know her address but I remember writing the letter. I’ll tell you who I found out she was: she was the daughter of one of the prime ministers we had during that time. I found her parents’ address and I wrote a letter to her, but never heard back. It’s funny but I still think about her … She made a lasting impression: she was a buautiful blue0eyed girl with curly hair. Funny isn’t it.

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