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People often seem to talk of self-respect, self-esteem, pride and vanity as if they are interchangeable, never mind the nuances of amour-propre, conceit, self-absorption and narcissism.
We might talk about the ‘me’ generation, the addiction to selfies, or the overbearing politician in any of these terms.
But this ignores their important differences, and threatens to flatten out all the interesting contours of the landscape of the self.
The English poet John Milton offer a useful starting point for discussing these notions.
He thought, rightly, that a ‘pious and just honouring of ourselves’ was essential to us – ‘the fountainhead whence every laudable and worthy enterprise issues forth’.
Writing in an essay on church government in 1642, he called for sufficient self-respect or self-confidence to fit us for the undertakings that enrich our lives or those of others.
Too little of it, and we would shrink away from things that we might well need to do.
Too much, and we start doing things that we are not actually fit to undertake.
Milton was talking of modest self-confidence, enough to give us courage to face problems and tackle difficulties.
Today we might think of it as having appropriate self-esteem, and it ought to be one aim of a good education.
But here we need to add an Aristotelian caveat.
The root idea behind the concept of esteem is that of an estimate.
In nearly all contexts it is better not to estimate things too highly or too lowly, and it is the same with estimates of the self.
If I estimate myself too highly in most respects, I am likely to head for a fall: literally if, for example, I think I am a better climber or horse-rider than I am, but metaphorically in almost any other respect. Continue reading
Sources
- Aeon Magazine
- Image: Yves Herman/Reuters / Aeon
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