Last week, when talking to my fiancé’s sister-in-law about having kids, she made an interesting point: the biggest change is not necessarily that you now have a child, but all the worry that comes with it. How true does that ring?!
I sometimes feel annoyed by mothers that seem to keep their baby all to themselves when all they are doing, perhaps subconsciously, is protecting their child as they know how.
Which leads me to the topic of over-parenting: because yup, parents, it’s a thing – at least according to a recent stuff.co.nz article. And I’d have to agree!
Like most things, parents wouldn’t even be aware that they’re doing it. But, also like most things, parenting should beware of extremes and strive for a healthy balance between guiding kids and allowing them to flourish freely.
According to the article, mums and dads fall into over-parenting because of fear (and really, most bad decisions come from a place of fear).
As put by Dr. Wendy Mogel, clinical psychologist and author: “Parents today are either afraid for their children or afraid of their children.” Dr. Wendy has 10 signs of over-parenting and tips to work through them, and I’m going to share a few of them here:
You find it hard to say ‘no’
Those toys at the supermarket, that McDonalds run on the way home, they want to eat dinner now instead of later… I think a lot of parents find it hard to say “no” to these things.
Sometimes it’s because it’s easier to just give in, but I think it stems mostly from not wanting their kids to experience any emotions like negative emotions. Yes, these emotions aren’t fun, but we all need to learn how to deal with them in a healthy manner.
Imagine if you were protected from them all your childhood and then got hit with the real world? That would be way less fun! Continue reading
- Tamara Rajakariar lives in Australia and is a Journalism graduate from the University of Technology, Sydney.
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