Confession of a girl who came home

Friday, February 12th, 2016

This is my confession. I was tricked into accepting God back into my life.

Yes, you read that right, I was tricked. Duped. Hoodwinked. Bamboozled – or perhaps more accurately, I was enticed by fireworks.

After all, simple things amuse simple minds and as soon as my friend told me they were doing backyard fireworks that night and that I could come if I would like then I was committed to going at any cost – even if that meant going to Prayer Group as well – because I like fireworks.

That first step
I had very low expectations when I arrived at Prayer Group. Other than feeling terrified that everyone would see me as a fraud who had (very explosive) ulterior motives for being there, all I felt was skeptical.

I had images in my head of everyone holding hands in a circle while chanting in Latin. The sad thing is, I was raised Catholic and went to a Catholic high school so I knew this wasn’t what Catholics were like and yet I couldn’t shake this image from my head.

I even asked my friend if it was going to have a “kumbaya” feel to it. The look on her face perfectly summed up how crazy that question was but to her credit, she still answered in her gallant effort to evangelise me.

What I actual experienced that night was more than I ever thought possible for a self-proclaimed Agnostic.

Opening my heart
The only way I can explain it is that the ice around my heart was shattered. For the first time in forever I felt warmth in my chest again.

Every beat of my heart felt like it was pumping blood around the whole world. It sounds dramatic (and a wee bit painful) but it’s honestly how finally opening you heart up to Jesus after 21 years feels like. I guess that’s what makes it so cool.

If I was rejected for that long I’m pretty sure I would test the waters with this person before diving in but Jesus was just so happy that He threw his arms around me and gave me the biggest hug ever. I’m pretty sure that hug is still going on now and He has no plans of ending it any time soon. Continue reading