What does it look like to be consumed by bitterness? It looks like the way an awful lot of Catholics speak to and about one another.
Bitterness isn’t born ex nihilo.
Bitterness is the festering of a spiritual wound, and many Catholics are infected by bitterness because they have suffered real, penetrating, stinging wounds at the hands of their fellows.
The cure, of course, is holiness, but most of us are still stumbling along the holiness trail.
We need some practical remedies for quelling the rage that feels so much like “righteous anger” but is really just self-consuming hatred.
These are some of the things that help.
1. Avoid Situations That Make You Bitter
Not everyone has this luxury, but some people do. Perhaps you have the option of attending Mass at a parish that is, while not your home parish, a place where your wounds aren’t prodded so regularly.
Perhaps there are unpleasant acquaintances you don’t have to invite into your social circle all the time.
Perhaps there are blogs, channels, discussion groups and magazines that feed your fury, but that you are under no obligation to consume.
If you have this privilege, exercise it.
Yes, it would be fantastic if you could somehow be so saintly that Fr. Backstab and Sr. Gutpunch didn’t bother you anymore.
Maybe one day that will be you. Until then, give your weakness a little breathing room.
2. Surround Yourself with People Who Build You Up
I don’t mean people who will gladly add their flame to your fire until you are an ecclesiastical volcano ready to blow at the slightest tremor.
I mean, rather, people who help you remember there is goodness in this world.
Look for corners within the Church where prayerful people do their best to carry out a work of spiritual or corporal mercy that brings you joy.
Find friends, Catholic or otherwise, who have a passion for something other than perpetual grievances. Spend time with those people.
Treasure, in particular, the company of those who have endured a true injustice (different from your own, ideally) and managed to come through sane and sociable. Continue reading
- Jennifer Fitz is not very holy, as anyone who knows her can attest. Most of her expertise in What Not To Do has been acquired first hand, and she seems determined to keep on checking just to make sure the same old bad ideas still don’t help.
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