Two years ago, I discovered something I did not know— many Christian families have been forced to leave their churches because their children came out as gay or transgender.
Through my work with FreedHearts, an LGBTQ-affirming nonprofit that aims to spread a “message of love, inclusion [and] belonging” between LGBTQ people and Christian churches, I have met many families who left their churches because they had to choose between upholding their LGBTQ child’s right-to-life and remaining in their parish.
I am a pediatric therapist and the Catholic parent of adult, neurodiverse children, two of whom identify as LGBTQ.
As a professional, I define “neurodiverse” as describing anyone who falls on a behavioural spectrum that doesn’t fit the majority of the general population. For example, approximately one per cent of the world population falls on the autism spectrum.
Interestingly, a 2021 study from the University of Cambridge also found that people on the autism spectrum are more likely to identify as LGBTQ.
And through my work with FreedHearts, a large ecumenical group, I lead a ministry to Catholic families with LGBTQ members to help them survive rejection and come to accept their LGBTQ children.
There is an overlap between the disability world and the LGBTQ community.
The transgender experience, for example, is anywhere from three to nine times more prevalent in families with neurodiverse or autistic children, such as in my family.
According to The Trevor Project, “the prevalence of autism among individuals with gender dysphoria is estimated” as somewhere between six and 25 per cent.
The consensus in the medical community is that the suicide rate for LBGTQ youth is notably higher in certain religious communities than it is in more affirming Christian or secular environments.
I now understand this truth after working with these families and living the LBGTQ experience as a parent.
In my work, I have seen some of these families ripped apart by tragedy.
LGBTQ teens, young adults (and even their parents) are taking their own lives by suicide after being shamed by others and forced to leave their faith communities.
In some cases, they feel forced to leave their home state.
I have worked with neurodiverse children in the disability community for many years.
Because of that work, just as I understand that there are variances in neurology, psychology and biology in a certain percentage of the population, I now understand that there are variances in gender and sexuality for certain people.
The LGBTQ identity spectrum is not a disability spectrum but rather a true spectrum of psychology; it is not a “gay agenda” or a “personal choice, ” as some people claim despite professional medical consensus.
According to a 2019 study, when one parent fully supports their LGBTQ child, the rate of suicide attempts drop dramatically by 40 per cent. Continue reading
- Julie Nichols is a pediatric academic language therapist serving children with developmental and cognitive disabilities. She is also a licensed dyslexia therapist and a certified autism specialist.
Where to get help
Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained counsellor, for any reason.
Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text HELP to 4357
Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7) or text 4202
Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (24/7)
Youthline: 0800 376 633 (24/7) or free text 234 (8am-12am), or email talk@youthline.co.nz
What’s Up: online chat (3pm-10pm) or 0800 WHATSUP / 0800 9428 787 helpline (12pm-10pm weekdays, 3pm-11pm weekends)
Kidsline (ages 5-18): 0800 543 754 (24/7)
Rural Support Trust Helpline: 0800 787 254
Healthline: 0800 611 116
Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
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