Is bullying the worst thing?

Friday, April 8th, 2011

Is bullying the worst thing? Sure it’s unpleasant and can have terrible consequences but that’s not really what I want to focus on. I want to put forward a small counter argument in the midst of a complex issue.

Of course bullying is bad – and yes Aotearoa has a problem with bullying – but this is a direct reflection of our society. A Sam Hunt poem, the title of which I have long since forgotten, reminds me that ‘man hands misery to man’…

We all know that all behaviour has meaning and that this negative behaviour has been learnt somewhere. In effect people with pain pass it on to others. And yes, the causes of this need to be addressed. We all know what they are; poverty, abuse, violence, marginalisation. The focus on what the media describes to us as ‘out of control youth’ is merely a by-product of these causal factors…

However to change tack for a minute, and with perhaps only a mild conviction. I guess what I’m trying to articulate is that I have come to believe that hard times equal strength; that difficult experiences often equate to growth of character and after all why do we want it all to be so easy?

Of course this can go too far. Severe violence and emotional abuse at its worst scale need to be stamped out of the school environment immediately and I actually lay this responsibility at the door of the leadership team of every school. After all it is up to the leaders to protect the vulnerable.

Who cares what John Key thinks? Really he is just one man with a mountain of responsibility. Schools are full of teachers with the intelligence and life experience to counter this issue – particularly in the leadership group. If this isn’t the case perhaps this is an issue we should really be looking at!

For me what this debate also uncovers is society’s desire to live a candy floss life… safe …full colour…fairytale happiness… All I want to suggest is that instead of being frightened of the emotional damage that life’s obstacles can cause us, perhaps we should embrace them.

Maybe we should see them as rites of passage…as tests of character…And for teenagers this is important because as adults we want to show some resilience for life’s test. We want to have some inner strength if we are to manage sickness or hardship or loss.

We want to be able to draw on our ability to survive tough times when guiding ourselves and others through the storm…

Ed Thirlwall