What your kids will remember about you and your parenting

Parenting is hard work. It calls on mothers and fathers to really forget themselves and put their kids first. So it’s no wonder that sometimes, we take shortcuts.

We buy them a toy rather than spend more time with them; we lose our temper rather than practice patience; we put on the TV at dinnertime instead of having a conversation.

That’s why this article from Time Magazine really stood out to me – because it’s a reminder that tiny parenting moments, which seem so trivial at the time, can add up and have a lasting impact on our kids. Here are the five things kids will remember of you:

When you made them feel safe

My baby is not yet four months, but I can already sense how she feels safe when held by my husband or myself, especially when she’s in an unfamiliar environment. Kids are vulnerable; they have an innate need to be protected.

When you think about how reckless children can be, it shows that they subconsciously put all their trust in their parents. But by the same token, they’ll remember the times they felt unsafe – something to think about when we lose our temper with them or show anger in their presence.

When you gave them your undivided attention

So simple, yet so often not done! I read an article recently about how 10-15 minutes a day of undivided attention for your child – no phone, no TV in the background, nothing else on your mind – is so beneficial.

Talking with them, reading them a book, colouring with them or anything like that will do the trick. As the article put it, “What that gives them? The essentials to feel loved, safe, secure, self-assured, and valued. What it gives you? Much of the same and so much more.”

Not to mention that it will help you create a relationship with your child that will last through to when they are adults. Continue reading

  • Tamara El-Rahi lives in Australia and is a Journalism graduate from the University of Technology, Sydney.
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